how to forget?

this is the hardest decision in my life, this the must the sadest moment in my existance, i cannot express how i feel, i must have to "forget" Anna, i have to block her from my mind, pretend she is not here, that she is not living close to me, that we dont use the same gym, that we dont life in the same city...

i have to close my mind and pretend i dont see her in my heart, that i dont dream with her,that i feel nothing for her....but had else can i do??? what else can i try to do???  i cannot do anything else...i must move her aside...i must close my eyes, i must close my heart, i must be strong, i must be brave...when you face losing the person of your life all the rest becomes small and not important!!!

I told her, i couldnt be her friend, i didnt say what i mean...i could be her friend, she will be always a friend...i wanted to say, i want more them just be friend!!!! what wan to be the man of your life...but now doesnt matter, she banned me from her life...i live to forget, to rebuid myself...

i stop writing this blog, i write now for all the souls, who like me are lost in this fight, i am tired of internet advice, of book advice, of friends advice...its better for you...its her lost, you will be fine...there is lots of girls out there...be happy...have fun....do things you like...think about bad things about her...

i am fade of this advice, its crap!!! its full of made lines, of make believe soluctions, like we are all alike, that we all feel the same way...i need my way, you may need a different way, we all are different, we all are alone in this fights...i stop listen to others...i listen to my heart, to me, i am me...i am not a number...we are all different, we all do things in a different way...this lost will be with me for ever, and i am trying to be the best i can be to others, this is my way to cope with my lost, i try to help other people, in little or big things, i dont do it for a reward....not to impress, not to pretend i am good, i do it, so other have a better chance to be more happy them me...

can you forget??? i cannot, i dont think i could, the best is to try to learn to deal with this lost, to be realistic, to be honest, we try to forget, we lie to ourselfs..i am fine...i forgot her/him, lies...just a pack of lies, we dont, we see the person we loved..and we are touched...in pain...sad...angry...depend on who we are...but we dont forget...i dont try to forget...i try not to think of her...i try to avoid imagine my future...i try not to think about being alone...i try to find reasons to leave the bed every day, some days are an better, others not, there is no logic, just a fight, every day is a battle, but we should never give up....what will bring tomorrow?? next week, next month? next year? we never know!!! so every day is a fight, we should fight to be better..a better me, a me i can be proud off, a me that can inspire others...i am looking for one thing only life, i dont want money, fame...rewards...no, i am only looking for true love!

i was asked...will i forgive Anna??? forgive?? for what??? for showing me love? to be my star in the sky? there is nothing to forgive, there is nothing to be bitter, Anna was the best thing of my life, i dont regret nothing!!!

will i forget her? no, she wil be in my memores, in my mind...i will never will forget her, i will never will be able to love again like i love her, i will never again write a blog for no one....even if i one day i meet some one...it will never be Anna....but i will be able to life without her, this is a big difference...learn to life without the person who care more in our lifes...if you can do this...you can do anything!!!!

i am starting a new path in life...i path where i must learn to look to an empty road and try to see the future...life doesnt stop here...