Would you accept to be a second choice, would you give some one who is not your true love a chance???
is there a clear answer? is there a easy answer???if you see things, most people will say, yes the answer is clear....we all like to say....no....i will wait for true love...i did think like that..but i am not so sure any more, is because i am older? is because i live a lot? i always consider, i should love, i should believe in love, pure love, honesty...i always consider you should not go look for a second choice, not settle for a second choice, you should be honest to yourself....
but i did think a lot, would i had accept being a second, or even third choice to the person i love? would i stayed with someone i trully love, even knowing that person did love as much? there is not a yes or no answer, because we all will answer in a different way..some will say no...i wouldnt stay, because they are too proud for being a second choice...
i am honest, i would stayed, i would had loved being Anna second choice, i would would say yes, in a heart beat... its true what i felt for her was pure, i always believe that if you love with all your heart, with all your soul, if you had true love, pure you would conquer anything...well...reality prove is not like this, life is different...
but the question remains, should we stay with some we care, or like but dont love??? will we be happy this way??? can we learn to love a person with time??? when we are young we believe only total will do, nothing else is not even considered...but you grow, you see life...and you start asking yourself...should i give the chance to some one who loves me???
i am right now living this question, i have person, some one i know for more them 20 years, she says she want to share a life with me, we are friends, we do the same sport, i know her family, i stay in their house, they stay in mine, but i dont love her, she is a good friend...should i move to her country? should i decide to start a family with her???
i am person who is honest, if would do that, i am sure if we would had kids i would be a good father, i would respect her, i would be honest with her, but would i be a good husband? would i be a good partner? would do anything for her? would i be thinking of a me? or would be thinking of a us??? i cannot answer this questions...and i dont want to find out in the real life, i think a person deserve the best from you...i know she would give her best...i dont know...
i know two persons who life with a second choice, why? because they share a life, they have a family, they have a place to go after work, they have some one to share the good moments, the bad moments, yes, its no love, yes, its not a life with a mad rush, but its like a calm walk in the park, they are there for each other...yes this not more them lots of people have??? is not this enough???
right now i dont know...i truly dont know....but this is something that is coming to my mind more often, that i am reach for stars, that i am looking for the impossible, that i am trying to find something that is to rare, that i would look around, that i should find peace and joy in a enjoy a life with some who cares for me, that we could do things together, instead of being alone...maybe this is a question that we all ask yourselfs....second choice....it sounds bad....maybe we should ask instead....alone or being with some who cares? with some we care for you???
life is not made of black or white choices, some are gray, some are not clear, but we most be think and believe in the choices we make....maybe being a second choice is not so bad....maybe giving some who care for you a change is not so bad....we all have to think, we all must make a choice, look for the true love, wait, life alone, give a choice to some one who dont trully love, be a second choice to the person who trully love....we will make a choice, we will take a decision, but after this decsion is taken...what ever this decision is....take it with all heart and soul...and them embrace it, and never look back, stopping looking back....we never know, maybe life will surprise us....
Tuesday 19 February 2013
Sunday 17 February 2013
17 of February
17 of February, a day, like many others, for most people, just a Sunday, a day like so many others, a day that will maybe leave without any trace in theirs life's, just another day....
for me its different, its a special day, i wrote a post about this same day last year...on the 17 of february...one year...its special day, a day i will not forget, a day that brings a lot of memories and emotions back to me, we all have a 17 of february in our lifes, we all have this special day, we all have memories that makes us smile, that make us cry, to celebrate, to hunt us, to makes us think...
17 of february of 2006, its a day will mark my life for ever, yes, 7 years have pass, and in my mind it was yesterday, it was now, its just like its still happening...i am home, my original place, not my working place, today i visit a friend who is a bad shape, he just return home after 3 months in the hospital, big car acident, he recently bought a new apartment, i never had been there, and as i walk back to my car....i come across the place where this adventure, about the reason i stat this blog, started, the place where my my life took a big change, a place that is now burn in my mind for ever...i stop... i keep looking....i look at the door....i was there...just looking...the person who is at the door said, if you want to enter, today its free, you dont need to pay...i said no, the person insisted, its one of the best views of the city....
i know that, i know that so well, i didnt want to enter, i didnt want to go and remember, but i did, i walk in, and i stay there, it was raining, i didnt feel it, what it look like 5 minutes was almost two hours...and i saw the last 7 years of my life passing in front of me, i saw the all the big moments, the little things, the good, the bad...everything....
for that two hours i saw the fights, the love, the being together, being alone, i saw it all, no pretends, everything, for real, my life move in front of me, my hopes, my dreams, my failures, two hours.....i was walking down from that place, i just realize i am shocking wet, all my clothes are wet, and yet my mind dry, its clear, its not happy or sad, its was just clear, it is moving forward...life and time is moving me forward....
how we deal with our past? how we deal with the people we lose??? do we should feel our hearts with anger, hate, some say yes, it helps moving apart, it helps moving forwards, others say pretend it never exist, burn everything, burn even the must little piece of remembering....i say, and its only my opinion, love every moment of your past, learn every day to life without that person, learn to move forward, learn to look at other people and smile, learn to open your hearts to happiness, let time do its work, let life move you forward...dont hate, dont burn, you love that person, you would have done anything for her/him..so respect that, and you will be respecting yourself....
yes, this day is not easy, it will never be easy, but would i prefer that that day never happen???? no, i dont regret nothing, i would do it all over again....i am a much better person today, this 7 years teach so much at me, i am so much better, we should embrace this 17 of februarys, see in your heart all the best that this other person brought to your lifes, see beauty that you share....
yes...some will say...i would prefer to be with that person...i understand, i would give 20 years or more of my life to change my life, if i could be back to 2003 and part of the deal would know that i be dead in 2013, i would have donte it....in instant, i wouldnt not even need to think about it... but now its over, i waited, i tried, i fail, it didnt happen, so what i do? i embrace my past, and look forward for the future, i will see this day as a sign, a touch that i must honor, i must be a better person, i must continue to move to be more human, to love others, to respect, to be less thinking of me, and bring more joy to others, this day is the day my life change....
i made to myself a promise, every 17 of February, i will be in that place, every year from 15.30 to 16.30 i will be there, rain, sun, if i am alive, if i can walk, i will be there, the place were everything started, i am not doing this like i am waiting for a miracle, to look for Anna to walk back in my life, no i am doing that, i am not to look for the past, not looking for a person that is no longer part of my life, no, i am not waiting for Anna...that is over!
no, i am waiting for me, i am waiting, i am celebrating the moment that my life change, as a remainder to myself, every day, every year is a journey, a path, and that we should do everything to be good and happy....this day is now a way to show to myself, i have to improve, to be better, to be a better friend, a better brother, a better uncle, a better son, a better me, this is what this day means now for me, a path to improvement...
maybe it doesnt make a lot of sense to others but for me its very clear, so my friend, use your 17 of february, use your magic moment, use your magic day, and use to start a new path, a new journey journey of improvement, or growing up, of moving forward, and never stop believing, life is worth living!!!!
for me its different, its a special day, i wrote a post about this same day last year...on the 17 of february...one year...its special day, a day i will not forget, a day that brings a lot of memories and emotions back to me, we all have a 17 of february in our lifes, we all have this special day, we all have memories that makes us smile, that make us cry, to celebrate, to hunt us, to makes us think...
17 of february of 2006, its a day will mark my life for ever, yes, 7 years have pass, and in my mind it was yesterday, it was now, its just like its still happening...i am home, my original place, not my working place, today i visit a friend who is a bad shape, he just return home after 3 months in the hospital, big car acident, he recently bought a new apartment, i never had been there, and as i walk back to my car....i come across the place where this adventure, about the reason i stat this blog, started, the place where my my life took a big change, a place that is now burn in my mind for ever...i stop... i keep looking....i look at the door....i was there...just looking...the person who is at the door said, if you want to enter, today its free, you dont need to pay...i said no, the person insisted, its one of the best views of the city....
i know that, i know that so well, i didnt want to enter, i didnt want to go and remember, but i did, i walk in, and i stay there, it was raining, i didnt feel it, what it look like 5 minutes was almost two hours...and i saw the last 7 years of my life passing in front of me, i saw the all the big moments, the little things, the good, the bad...everything....
for that two hours i saw the fights, the love, the being together, being alone, i saw it all, no pretends, everything, for real, my life move in front of me, my hopes, my dreams, my failures, two hours.....i was walking down from that place, i just realize i am shocking wet, all my clothes are wet, and yet my mind dry, its clear, its not happy or sad, its was just clear, it is moving forward...life and time is moving me forward....
how we deal with our past? how we deal with the people we lose??? do we should feel our hearts with anger, hate, some say yes, it helps moving apart, it helps moving forwards, others say pretend it never exist, burn everything, burn even the must little piece of remembering....i say, and its only my opinion, love every moment of your past, learn every day to life without that person, learn to move forward, learn to look at other people and smile, learn to open your hearts to happiness, let time do its work, let life move you forward...dont hate, dont burn, you love that person, you would have done anything for her/him..so respect that, and you will be respecting yourself....
yes, this day is not easy, it will never be easy, but would i prefer that that day never happen???? no, i dont regret nothing, i would do it all over again....i am a much better person today, this 7 years teach so much at me, i am so much better, we should embrace this 17 of februarys, see in your heart all the best that this other person brought to your lifes, see beauty that you share....
yes...some will say...i would prefer to be with that person...i understand, i would give 20 years or more of my life to change my life, if i could be back to 2003 and part of the deal would know that i be dead in 2013, i would have donte it....in instant, i wouldnt not even need to think about it... but now its over, i waited, i tried, i fail, it didnt happen, so what i do? i embrace my past, and look forward for the future, i will see this day as a sign, a touch that i must honor, i must be a better person, i must continue to move to be more human, to love others, to respect, to be less thinking of me, and bring more joy to others, this day is the day my life change....
i made to myself a promise, every 17 of February, i will be in that place, every year from 15.30 to 16.30 i will be there, rain, sun, if i am alive, if i can walk, i will be there, the place were everything started, i am not doing this like i am waiting for a miracle, to look for Anna to walk back in my life, no i am doing that, i am not to look for the past, not looking for a person that is no longer part of my life, no, i am not waiting for Anna...that is over!
no, i am waiting for me, i am waiting, i am celebrating the moment that my life change, as a remainder to myself, every day, every year is a journey, a path, and that we should do everything to be good and happy....this day is now a way to show to myself, i have to improve, to be better, to be a better friend, a better brother, a better uncle, a better son, a better me, this is what this day means now for me, a path to improvement...
maybe it doesnt make a lot of sense to others but for me its very clear, so my friend, use your 17 of february, use your magic moment, use your magic day, and use to start a new path, a new journey journey of improvement, or growing up, of moving forward, and never stop believing, life is worth living!!!!
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