Can a person truly change? this is a question that everyone ask, can you change? Can you say, i changed, i am a different person! is this true?
Yes and no, you don’t change, you are the same person, you have the same story behind you, what happens, is you are faced with a life revelling situation, this is true if you have a big car accident, if you went through a very nasty disease, when you lose the only thing that matters to you, the love of the person you care more in this world, in a situation like this, you are shaken to the foundations of your soul, and you give a big look at you, at your life, of what is important...
This is the reason why people say they changed, they in fact saw what were the trully important things in their life’s, it becomes so clear what is real important and what is not!
You when facing a situation like this can become a better person, or a worse person, it depends what you think is important for you, for me, i have a revelation, it like my entire life was put in front of my eyes, and i realize how things that i was thinking that where really important in fact were just little details in the overall importance of life.
I had a big long look at me, and i realize that i made so many mistakes with my love, if i look back, if i look at what i was considering important, going to my sport, i sometimes would put this in front of doing things with my love, the way i was with her child, the discipline i was thinking it was right, the language we spoke, the fact i never try to learn her language, when she learn mine, the fact i was keep going home once in awhile, the fact i was always taking her love for granted, an more little things, like the tv, all of this look so petty and small, i look at them and say, i could i have been so stupid??????
You need a shock, you need to suffer to see what is the most important things in your life, its not a change, its a rethink of what its important, i still am the same person, i still have the same values, of honesty, of trust, of being a man who has place only for one in his hear, no two, not one and a half, no, my heart beats only for one girl, the women i love, which today i have no idea what i mean to her, and yet i am still in love...
I ask so much i can show to her, how much i have "changed" that the person she meet, is here better, and all the good things that she like so much are still here, and the bad things, the things that were not so good, they have disappear, they were washed away with soul searching i had to do...
Maybe god have a secret plan, that is playing with me, to show me what is important, to make me lose my love, so we maybe one day be back together, after we both went in shoul searching experience, so we can be together forever, i hope this is the reason all of this happen, i hope i have a change in this life i lead now, to show her that she doesn’t need to be afraid that we will be back in a situation where we were fighting for small things, or about her child, i wish she could trust me, that this old things will never happen again, i know today what is really important in my life, i learn about the true important things in life, i grow up, i open my heart, today i know i would be the best person in her life...
Sunday 31 July 2011
Saturday 30 July 2011
Trust
Trust is a very strange thing, you can built it for years and lose it one instant, trust is about learn to believe in your partner, forget all the crazy things that pass in your mind, and trust your partner.
Sometimes when you say, i never cheat on you, i don’t have any affair, i don’t have a secret relationship, you must believe, if you don’t believe you will be going at night to bed thinking, his is saying the true story??? you need to show it actions that you are person she can truly trust, dont simple say it, do it!!!! Your action should be simple, one love, one word!! and them she can trust you!
I never lie to my love, never, i hope she trust me enough to realize i love her like a lot, like there was no tomorrow, maybe i was not good at showing this to her, but i cannot regret it, i cannot gain the trust of a person by lying, i hope with time, now that we are not together, she can look back, see all her life, and realize, who was always there for me? who always love me always? you was always honest? in who can i trust?? And i hope she realizes that the only person in her life that is yes to all this questions is me!! I am not perfect, no, i know i am far from being perfect, but i am man that she can trust, i am man she can rely on!! forever!!
And she can trust me, doesn’t matter what, doesn’t matter how bad the situation may look, doesn’t matter how tough times will be, she should know, she can always trust in me!! i dont play any games, i dont say one thing and do the other, i run the hard line of being honest and be trusted, its not the easiest way, but for me its the only one....
Trust, like actions, you see them for real, you cannot promise trust, no, trust can only be given, shown with action, its black or white, not gray, you cannot give half trust, to be trusted, you need to be real, to do what you say, to put yourself in the line and deliver, doesn’t matter if its a small thing, to a big thing, if you say, if you promise, there could be only one action, what you promise, said, must be done, must be true. Its not about being easy, or tough, its about showing her you only have one side, that you have only one word, one love, i hope my love can realize i can be trusted, and if i say i LOVE her, if i am committed to build a life together, that i learn from my mistakes from the past...she can trust me, because i am simple saying is clear and true!!
Sometimes when you say, i never cheat on you, i don’t have any affair, i don’t have a secret relationship, you must believe, if you don’t believe you will be going at night to bed thinking, his is saying the true story??? you need to show it actions that you are person she can truly trust, dont simple say it, do it!!!! Your action should be simple, one love, one word!! and them she can trust you!
I never lie to my love, never, i hope she trust me enough to realize i love her like a lot, like there was no tomorrow, maybe i was not good at showing this to her, but i cannot regret it, i cannot gain the trust of a person by lying, i hope with time, now that we are not together, she can look back, see all her life, and realize, who was always there for me? who always love me always? you was always honest? in who can i trust?? And i hope she realizes that the only person in her life that is yes to all this questions is me!! I am not perfect, no, i know i am far from being perfect, but i am man that she can trust, i am man she can rely on!! forever!!
And she can trust me, doesn’t matter what, doesn’t matter how bad the situation may look, doesn’t matter how tough times will be, she should know, she can always trust in me!! i dont play any games, i dont say one thing and do the other, i run the hard line of being honest and be trusted, its not the easiest way, but for me its the only one....
Trust, like actions, you see them for real, you cannot promise trust, no, trust can only be given, shown with action, its black or white, not gray, you cannot give half trust, to be trusted, you need to be real, to do what you say, to put yourself in the line and deliver, doesn’t matter if its a small thing, to a big thing, if you say, if you promise, there could be only one action, what you promise, said, must be done, must be true. Its not about being easy, or tough, its about showing her you only have one side, that you have only one word, one love, i hope my love can realize i can be trusted, and if i say i LOVE her, if i am committed to build a life together, that i learn from my mistakes from the past...she can trust me, because i am simple saying is clear and true!!
Friday 29 July 2011
weekends
The weekends are the worse time for me, it’s so strange, i use to like so much the weekends, not any more, i hate the weekends, i don’t mind don’t have to work, i don’t mind having time for me, but i hate arriving to an empty house, it’s not easy, you have a big or small house, the feeling is always the same, there is something missing!!!
I feel so empty on the weekends, there is nothing better them arriving home and know there will be someone to share things with you, to talk, to give you love, to call you sweetheart, this is the salt of life, now I arrive to a empty house, i cannot watch the tv, i start to dislike the tv, the stupid shows, so i read, i try to tell myself i am ok, that time will help, that life will be better, but in the moment where you are down, this doesn’t work!!
On best things of sharing a life with someone is arriving home, seat in the sofa and talk, while you caresses her hair, listen to her, hold her, share a moment, make planes for the weekend, i feel so bad, because when we were together, i never did this, i would go and do my sport, and sometimes i would go for almost the entire day, what i fool i was, there shouldn’t be nothing more important for you them share a life with you love!!! Nothing!!!!! Share!!!! You cannot share alone!!!! i learn, i learn so many things, and i ask myself, why i had to lose my love to understand all of this??
I spoke of my situation with a friend of mine who went through a similar situation, and he told me, sometimes we need a punch in the face from life to understand what is really important, it’s like when people have a death threaten disease, if they survive, them become changed persons, they lean what is real important in life, for me is the same, losing my love make me question all my values, my ideas, my opinions, what I want from life, I need to lose my live, this the most sad things that happen in my life, its worse them what I thought was the worse time of my life, 1994, this is so much worse, i had find my soul mate, the perfect person, i found her, i love her, and them i lose her, it’s a cruel trick of destiny, if it was to realize how important she was, i learn my lesson, i learn my lesson the hard way, i hope that the future can bring me to my love again!!! she will find a new person in me, a person you change and will bring her all the joy in the world!!!
My friend decide he had not will to fight, and gave up, he gave up, he still wonders today, what if???? i am will never give up, the people who know me, know this, i can have my defects, but quitting is not one of them!!! i will never quit, i can lose my love, she maybe never love me again, but the feeling for her will be in my heart for ever, and i will never quit, i will only stop my quest for my love the day i die, and don’t know if will be heaven or hell, but if I will be heaven i hope that she will share heaven with me!!!
During the week, i concentrate on work; i try to keep self occupied, now, weekend, its bloody hard!! but i am also getting scared, i cannot be alone, this is not good, i am starting to think also, but i am not in the right mind frame to make some one happy, and this scares me also!!!
if i am not happy with me, how can i make some else happy?
if i am not happy with me, how can i make some else happy?
Hope?
Hope is a strange thing, its the base of life, its the force that keeps you breathing, its the thing that makes you leave the bed in the morning, its only thing that keeps you moving forward, is the hope one day I can return to my love!!!!!
I lost hope for a few weeks, for the first time in almost two years i felt i was going to go through life without any reason, without a purpose, i remember on time during my army times, one old sergeant telling me, you are only afraid to die if you have a reason to life! he explain why people do crazy things at war, they have no reason to life, so they are not afraid of dying, at that time i didn’t understood what he said, it didn’t make any sense to me, during this weeks, it made perfect sense, if you have any hope you don’t live, you are going day by day without any objective, you are simply here, you are not afraid to die, being alive or not doesnt make a big difference!! I am not crazy, i am not going to start mad things, i simply say, i understand so much better what is real important in life! but there is a thin line between hope and addication, between hoping and feeling like a junkie....i dont know here i am now...i am hoping? or i am losing view of everything and insted of being a force to better, i am becoming the source of problems for me and Anna????
The worst thing in life is losing hope, but to have hope you need to be good with yourself, you need to have hope in you, that you have the head in the right place, that your heart is right!!!
Now i am not sure, maybe i have confused hope with some mad objecive of return to the person i care at all cost!!! hey i say this?? because i dont see to be able to enjoy nothing....
I am at a crossed road, do i hope? or do i am becoming a stalker???? i dont know....i hope i can find the answer soon, maybe hoping to much is wrong, maybe i am just making everything worse, maybe i am losing my objectivity, is not easy to look at you and think, that i can be a problem and not a soluction, that the best thing i can do is give time and space...or insted of hope you just become a mad paranoid person...
It’s this a realist hope? maybe not, i don’t know, should i give up? Decide to forget her, to move on? it not easy, there are big feelings in my heart, i know today that there is magic, maybe one day i can show her that i am a better person, i am the right man for her to grow old, someone will never will disappoint her....
if you read this, and you are in love with a single mother, or just in love, or love someone who still doesn’t love you, have hope, and be the best person for the one you love, be a partner, a lover, a rock, a source of joy, show her that life can be full of magic and joy!!!!!
I lost hope for a few weeks, for the first time in almost two years i felt i was going to go through life without any reason, without a purpose, i remember on time during my army times, one old sergeant telling me, you are only afraid to die if you have a reason to life! he explain why people do crazy things at war, they have no reason to life, so they are not afraid of dying, at that time i didn’t understood what he said, it didn’t make any sense to me, during this weeks, it made perfect sense, if you have any hope you don’t live, you are going day by day without any objective, you are simply here, you are not afraid to die, being alive or not doesnt make a big difference!! I am not crazy, i am not going to start mad things, i simply say, i understand so much better what is real important in life! but there is a thin line between hope and addication, between hoping and feeling like a junkie....i dont know here i am now...i am hoping? or i am losing view of everything and insted of being a force to better, i am becoming the source of problems for me and Anna????
The worst thing in life is losing hope, but to have hope you need to be good with yourself, you need to have hope in you, that you have the head in the right place, that your heart is right!!!
Now i am not sure, maybe i have confused hope with some mad objecive of return to the person i care at all cost!!! hey i say this?? because i dont see to be able to enjoy nothing....
I am at a crossed road, do i hope? or do i am becoming a stalker???? i dont know....i hope i can find the answer soon, maybe hoping to much is wrong, maybe i am just making everything worse, maybe i am losing my objectivity, is not easy to look at you and think, that i can be a problem and not a soluction, that the best thing i can do is give time and space...or insted of hope you just become a mad paranoid person...
It’s this a realist hope? maybe not, i don’t know, should i give up? Decide to forget her, to move on? it not easy, there are big feelings in my heart, i know today that there is magic, maybe one day i can show her that i am a better person, i am the right man for her to grow old, someone will never will disappoint her....
if you read this, and you are in love with a single mother, or just in love, or love someone who still doesn’t love you, have hope, and be the best person for the one you love, be a partner, a lover, a rock, a source of joy, show her that life can be full of magic and joy!!!!!
Thursday 28 July 2011
Lucky Break
I am in phase of my life that it seems i cannot get a lucky break, everything you hoped, every new chance turns out to fail, to never arrive...it’s not easy, to survive in this conditions, you try to be supportive, you try to be strong, but every day you lose a bit of hope!!!
I am trying for the last year to move closer to where my love lives, people think its easy, its not, Europe is going through a bad crises, there aren’t any good jobs, there is not a lot of breaks, i doesn’t matter if you have a good cv or not, the job offers aren’t simply there...
I went to 3 interviews, during the last 2 years, been called is already a victory, but it seems i never get the final break, why? is my age? is the fact i am trying to much and trying to reach for jobs that are out of my scope of work??? i don’t know, the fact is i keep trying and nothing comes!!!
i know if i don’t move soon to where my love life’s, i am going to lose her love, for good and forever, and this drives me mad, on the other side i cannot simply go and be unemployed or getting a very basic job, where we will be not partners but she would almost to support me financially, i don’t want this, i want here to be able to count on me, like i count on her!!!!
it’s not easy trying to be focus and doing my job here, when my mind is not here, where i keep spending lots of times looking for job offers, i just a lucky break, can i please get a lucky break???????
people take so much for granted, you shouldn’t, you should never take anything for granted, its doesn’t matter if its love, work, family, but every day that pass by i am getting more and more desperate, and one day i will maybe have to take risk and go and look for something, anything, i need a lucky break, its not only for the person i care so much, is also for me, to get in my feet, to get control of my life!!!! i dont know when i will have a break, but i have hope!!
I am trying for the last year to move closer to where my love lives, people think its easy, its not, Europe is going through a bad crises, there aren’t any good jobs, there is not a lot of breaks, i doesn’t matter if you have a good cv or not, the job offers aren’t simply there...
I went to 3 interviews, during the last 2 years, been called is already a victory, but it seems i never get the final break, why? is my age? is the fact i am trying to much and trying to reach for jobs that are out of my scope of work??? i don’t know, the fact is i keep trying and nothing comes!!!
i know if i don’t move soon to where my love life’s, i am going to lose her love, for good and forever, and this drives me mad, on the other side i cannot simply go and be unemployed or getting a very basic job, where we will be not partners but she would almost to support me financially, i don’t want this, i want here to be able to count on me, like i count on her!!!!
it’s not easy trying to be focus and doing my job here, when my mind is not here, where i keep spending lots of times looking for job offers, i just a lucky break, can i please get a lucky break???????
people take so much for granted, you shouldn’t, you should never take anything for granted, its doesn’t matter if its love, work, family, but every day that pass by i am getting more and more desperate, and one day i will maybe have to take risk and go and look for something, anything, i need a lucky break, its not only for the person i care so much, is also for me, to get in my feet, to get control of my life!!!! i dont know when i will have a break, but i have hope!!
Wednesday 27 July 2011
Talk is easy!!!!
We all promise lots of things, i will call, i will be there, i will put the mail, i will pay the bills, i will always will be here for you, you can trust me, etc, etc!!!! talk is so easy, we do promise things not because we intent no doing them, no we promise in good faith, we promise because when you have know its the right thing to say!!!
This is the easy part, its so easy to promise, its so easy to say i will always be there for you, its not easy is them do all the things we promise!!! Do all the things we promise involve committeemen, it involves sometimes sacrifice other things, sometimes its not easy to support your love when she is not in love with you, you love her, but she have doubts, she doesn’t know, you feel hurt, its so much more easy to give up, to forget all the things you said and promise, this is the easy way, its not the right way!!! If you love someone you will do all the things you promise, and you do them with any second intention, you do them because every time you help the person you love you feel a good feeling, its like being close to her, its sign to her that your love is more them just talking, its real, and you are going to do what you promise!!!!
i cannot tell how many of my friend promise things for their wife’s, girlfriends, and i can say, and only a little few do life to its word!!!! The samurai use to say, my word is strong them steel of sword...this is how we should life, you are not going to do what you promise, don’t say anything, keep your mouth shout, if you promise do, its so simple, there is not grey area, it’s a very simple concept, promise do!!!! Anything!!! From i will wash the dishes, or i will die for you!!! it’s your choice, and way you do things will show to your love if you are a real man in her life or just a big mouth!!!
i never fail to a promise to my love, and i will never will, it’s a simple way of life, it’s a question of trust, and i will never betray my love trust!!! I hope she knows, that if i say, i will do, doesnt matter what will happen, what will be the odds, the problems, the effects, i will do!!!
For my love, i will always be there, and this is not words, this is a promise that i will die for!!!!! its that simple!!
This is the easy part, its so easy to promise, its so easy to say i will always be there for you, its not easy is them do all the things we promise!!! Do all the things we promise involve committeemen, it involves sometimes sacrifice other things, sometimes its not easy to support your love when she is not in love with you, you love her, but she have doubts, she doesn’t know, you feel hurt, its so much more easy to give up, to forget all the things you said and promise, this is the easy way, its not the right way!!! If you love someone you will do all the things you promise, and you do them with any second intention, you do them because every time you help the person you love you feel a good feeling, its like being close to her, its sign to her that your love is more them just talking, its real, and you are going to do what you promise!!!!
i cannot tell how many of my friend promise things for their wife’s, girlfriends, and i can say, and only a little few do life to its word!!!! The samurai use to say, my word is strong them steel of sword...this is how we should life, you are not going to do what you promise, don’t say anything, keep your mouth shout, if you promise do, its so simple, there is not grey area, it’s a very simple concept, promise do!!!! Anything!!! From i will wash the dishes, or i will die for you!!! it’s your choice, and way you do things will show to your love if you are a real man in her life or just a big mouth!!!
i never fail to a promise to my love, and i will never will, it’s a simple way of life, it’s a question of trust, and i will never betray my love trust!!! I hope she knows, that if i say, i will do, doesnt matter what will happen, what will be the odds, the problems, the effects, i will do!!!
For my love, i will always be there, and this is not words, this is a promise that i will die for!!!!! its that simple!!
Tuesday 26 July 2011
Where do you live?
This is a more tricky issue that it may look, le me ask you, do you move to your love house, do you carry all your clothes, or not?
Why i ask this?? let me give my own example, i life with my love for a while, and yet i still had clothes at my family home, would still go there, i would still have a link to that house, it has nothing to do with love less my love, it’s a question of you have to cut the connections with your house, it’s about show the true committeemen of your love!!!
I never question this, there is nothing like a shock and feeling of despair to open your eyes, when you pass all your life under the microscope!!! you start to see the mistakes...you start to realize the how wrong you handle things!!!!
Put yourself in her place, why i hell this guy need to go and spend time with his family??? i wouldn’t do it now, i learn that besides love you need a lot more to have a good relationship with the women you love!!!
You need to show her you are not "playing" i was never playing!! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!! but i was going home, the reasons are not clear for me, maybe it was unconscious, maybe keep that freedom idea, maybe was a way to feel that i was still young, yes, young, how stupid can you be???? i am not trying to hide, i am not going to give stupid lies to make myself look good!!!!
i am carry a large degree of responsibility in the faller of our relationship, it was not for cheating, i never cheat on my love, it was not for interest of another women, it wasn’t! it was not her child, it was a fact that maybe i was not ready, maybe it was too much, too fast, and i handle the situation bad, i should have been more mature, i should understand better my love need, i should have make her sure that my committeeman was with her!!! And she was my family now, she was my place of shelter, where she lives should be where i life!!! Final!!!
so if you are in relationship, for real, for the long run, don’t be afraid, don’t get a safety net, don’t keep a place that you can use as a escape area, no!!!! show to her, that you are in this together, you shouldn’t have your place and her place, there should be one place only, your place, a place of both, where you can both call home, i see that sometimes when one part move with the other the place they life is not a joint effort is a house that was from one and now have two persons, give it a little personal touch, make it your place!!!
Be involved, buy the grocery, paint the walls, clean the kitchen, take care of the garden, bring plants, and show that you both are working to transform the space of one with a place of a family!!!! Share the bills, share the problems, you are now a unit, you are now couple, and don’t be afraid, you are not losing your freedom, you are not losing nothing, no, you are gaining!!!!
You are winning a person that will share your bad moments and good ones, you are moving from one dimension life to a life of colour and joy!!! a life at 3 or 4, or more depending how kids your love have, if someone ask me today, where do you life? i would say in pain!!! But I have hope that one day I can say with a big smile and a heart full of joy, where do you live??? With my LOVE and her CHILD!!!!!
Why i ask this?? let me give my own example, i life with my love for a while, and yet i still had clothes at my family home, would still go there, i would still have a link to that house, it has nothing to do with love less my love, it’s a question of you have to cut the connections with your house, it’s about show the true committeemen of your love!!!
I never question this, there is nothing like a shock and feeling of despair to open your eyes, when you pass all your life under the microscope!!! you start to see the mistakes...you start to realize the how wrong you handle things!!!!
Put yourself in her place, why i hell this guy need to go and spend time with his family??? i wouldn’t do it now, i learn that besides love you need a lot more to have a good relationship with the women you love!!!
You need to show her you are not "playing" i was never playing!! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!! but i was going home, the reasons are not clear for me, maybe it was unconscious, maybe keep that freedom idea, maybe was a way to feel that i was still young, yes, young, how stupid can you be???? i am not trying to hide, i am not going to give stupid lies to make myself look good!!!!
i am carry a large degree of responsibility in the faller of our relationship, it was not for cheating, i never cheat on my love, it was not for interest of another women, it wasn’t! it was not her child, it was a fact that maybe i was not ready, maybe it was too much, too fast, and i handle the situation bad, i should have been more mature, i should understand better my love need, i should have make her sure that my committeeman was with her!!! And she was my family now, she was my place of shelter, where she lives should be where i life!!! Final!!!
so if you are in relationship, for real, for the long run, don’t be afraid, don’t get a safety net, don’t keep a place that you can use as a escape area, no!!!! show to her, that you are in this together, you shouldn’t have your place and her place, there should be one place only, your place, a place of both, where you can both call home, i see that sometimes when one part move with the other the place they life is not a joint effort is a house that was from one and now have two persons, give it a little personal touch, make it your place!!!
Be involved, buy the grocery, paint the walls, clean the kitchen, take care of the garden, bring plants, and show that you both are working to transform the space of one with a place of a family!!!! Share the bills, share the problems, you are now a unit, you are now couple, and don’t be afraid, you are not losing your freedom, you are not losing nothing, no, you are gaining!!!!
You are winning a person that will share your bad moments and good ones, you are moving from one dimension life to a life of colour and joy!!! a life at 3 or 4, or more depending how kids your love have, if someone ask me today, where do you life? i would say in pain!!! But I have hope that one day I can say with a big smile and a heart full of joy, where do you live??? With my LOVE and her CHILD!!!!!
Monday 25 July 2011
Her Child
If you are starting a relationship with a single person is already a big adventure, you need to find out all the little things about each other, when your love as already a small child things are not easy!
but, please, don’t read this stupid advices all over the net and books, its not going to work, its a losing battle, you will be a second choice always in relation to her child, i get sick every time i hear that, what a load of crap!!!!
Yes, there is a little baby, child, in here, and what? this will make you love her less? NO!!! you need is to learn to handle this, and maybe better them me!!! I think my love never was sure if i truly love her child, i did, i truly need, maybe in a stupid way!!! A man way, which was be tough, don’t show to much emotions, and try to be a father like figure, one who will impose discipline and rules!!!
Wrong, this is very wrong, a child knows who the father is, and you are not the father, and the last thing you need is start playing power games with a child. A child need to encourage and loved, yes a child need to understand the right and wrong, but the child can learn this by positive stimulation, if the child is doing something wrong simply ignore it, don’t keep saying, don’t do that, no, you cannot do this, seat down, eat the lunch, if you don’t eat this you will nothing more, don’t run, a child will start using this to get attention, she will grow on a negative behaviour pattern, do the opposite, say how good he/she is doing, compliment, encourage the positive things, and you dont need to worry, a child like this will grow up to be a confident happy adult!!!
Was i like this??? no!!! in fact i was the oposite, i was always, the one saying, dont do, dont touch, eat your food, only recently i start to think, i start to see around me the results of this type of education, and i start to realize how wrong i was, and how right my love was, and this is one of the things i regret more, its i didnt listen, is that i was not flexible and to understand, i must tell to every guy who may one day read this, we dont have to be right all the time, we dont have all the answers!!!!! the biggest lesson you should get is to listen and learn, and in a case like this, the mother is always right!!!!
a good example was one day i went with my love child to a swimming class, in the end when all the kids where getting dressed, i was watching all the parents around me, shouting, don’t play with the towel, hurry up, come here, they where all shouting, they all were playing this power games with their child, not my love child, he/she was dressing smiling, playing little tricks, but a well super well behaved child, when i recal this i think now that child, that day gave me a lesson a lesson given by a 4 year old child, a lesson i should have learn, and i start to wonder that day if i was right, there was no time for me after that, because my love move away from me, shortly after this, but that moment will stay for me forever, its the moment i discover how wrong i was!!!!
still even after that one day on the phone with my love, in a stupid bravado macho men moment i told my love lots of things i shouldn’t, things i regret so much today, i don’t know why i said all this things, i don’t know what come to me to say does things....to look like a men????? for being afraid to admit that i was wrong?? i dont know, but i told things i am ashame today, things that i listen to my self say, i should be smacked in the head and be told, you stupid men!!!!!
Don’t be afraid to admit that you are wrong, forget your stupid pride, you have a lot more to lose them your stupid pride if you insist in a way that even yourself start to think its wrong!!!
I learn a very important lesson, i was until i meet my love a believer on a strict approach, i saw recently the results, of this approach in the life of some of my friends child, who are afraid to be kids, kids who attract attention by being nauthy, by breaking things, i dont want a child of mine to be like this, today i know that you need to be more the sergeant, you need to give love and attention, and your child we grow up in great way!!!
In the you are sharing your life with a single mother, you are not the mother or the father, tell this to yourself, and please give the mother space to be the mother, discuss with her your opinion, but never forget its her child not yours, and in the end you should respect and support her decisions!!!!
Its strange that i am saying all this things now, another thing is don’t be afraid to show affection for her child, you should, if you are in the life together you should show how much this child is important for you, i miss this part, i should have been a more caring person to my love child, we had a great time, we still play when we see each other, but i should have been better, i should have been a super friend, a someone that when the child grow up, could be a confident, a friend, a support person, not the father, but someone he/she knew it will be there for her all the time, like i would be to he/she mother.
I cannot say how much i miss them both, one of the things i really enjoy on my family life was before bed time i would go to my love child bed and see if he/she was not cold, i would put the little blanked on he/she just stay there for a second looking how peaceful this child was sleeping, it was a warm hear moment, every day, a moment i miss so much, a moment that i lost, and i so sorry, so sorry....
i know today how wrong i was back them, i hope that if you read this, learn from me, and don’t be afraid of a single mother with a child, its the best thing that could happen in your life, work for it, don’t be afraid, be there for them, give them all your love and attention and you will have the best life in this world!!!
but, please, don’t read this stupid advices all over the net and books, its not going to work, its a losing battle, you will be a second choice always in relation to her child, i get sick every time i hear that, what a load of crap!!!!
Yes, there is a little baby, child, in here, and what? this will make you love her less? NO!!! you need is to learn to handle this, and maybe better them me!!! I think my love never was sure if i truly love her child, i did, i truly need, maybe in a stupid way!!! A man way, which was be tough, don’t show to much emotions, and try to be a father like figure, one who will impose discipline and rules!!!
Wrong, this is very wrong, a child knows who the father is, and you are not the father, and the last thing you need is start playing power games with a child. A child need to encourage and loved, yes a child need to understand the right and wrong, but the child can learn this by positive stimulation, if the child is doing something wrong simply ignore it, don’t keep saying, don’t do that, no, you cannot do this, seat down, eat the lunch, if you don’t eat this you will nothing more, don’t run, a child will start using this to get attention, she will grow on a negative behaviour pattern, do the opposite, say how good he/she is doing, compliment, encourage the positive things, and you dont need to worry, a child like this will grow up to be a confident happy adult!!!
Was i like this??? no!!! in fact i was the oposite, i was always, the one saying, dont do, dont touch, eat your food, only recently i start to think, i start to see around me the results of this type of education, and i start to realize how wrong i was, and how right my love was, and this is one of the things i regret more, its i didnt listen, is that i was not flexible and to understand, i must tell to every guy who may one day read this, we dont have to be right all the time, we dont have all the answers!!!!! the biggest lesson you should get is to listen and learn, and in a case like this, the mother is always right!!!!
a good example was one day i went with my love child to a swimming class, in the end when all the kids where getting dressed, i was watching all the parents around me, shouting, don’t play with the towel, hurry up, come here, they where all shouting, they all were playing this power games with their child, not my love child, he/she was dressing smiling, playing little tricks, but a well super well behaved child, when i recal this i think now that child, that day gave me a lesson a lesson given by a 4 year old child, a lesson i should have learn, and i start to wonder that day if i was right, there was no time for me after that, because my love move away from me, shortly after this, but that moment will stay for me forever, its the moment i discover how wrong i was!!!!
still even after that one day on the phone with my love, in a stupid bravado macho men moment i told my love lots of things i shouldn’t, things i regret so much today, i don’t know why i said all this things, i don’t know what come to me to say does things....to look like a men????? for being afraid to admit that i was wrong?? i dont know, but i told things i am ashame today, things that i listen to my self say, i should be smacked in the head and be told, you stupid men!!!!!
Don’t be afraid to admit that you are wrong, forget your stupid pride, you have a lot more to lose them your stupid pride if you insist in a way that even yourself start to think its wrong!!!
I learn a very important lesson, i was until i meet my love a believer on a strict approach, i saw recently the results, of this approach in the life of some of my friends child, who are afraid to be kids, kids who attract attention by being nauthy, by breaking things, i dont want a child of mine to be like this, today i know that you need to be more the sergeant, you need to give love and attention, and your child we grow up in great way!!!
In the you are sharing your life with a single mother, you are not the mother or the father, tell this to yourself, and please give the mother space to be the mother, discuss with her your opinion, but never forget its her child not yours, and in the end you should respect and support her decisions!!!!
Its strange that i am saying all this things now, another thing is don’t be afraid to show affection for her child, you should, if you are in the life together you should show how much this child is important for you, i miss this part, i should have been a more caring person to my love child, we had a great time, we still play when we see each other, but i should have been better, i should have been a super friend, a someone that when the child grow up, could be a confident, a friend, a support person, not the father, but someone he/she knew it will be there for her all the time, like i would be to he/she mother.
I cannot say how much i miss them both, one of the things i really enjoy on my family life was before bed time i would go to my love child bed and see if he/she was not cold, i would put the little blanked on he/she just stay there for a second looking how peaceful this child was sleeping, it was a warm hear moment, every day, a moment i miss so much, a moment that i lost, and i so sorry, so sorry....
i know today how wrong i was back them, i hope that if you read this, learn from me, and don’t be afraid of a single mother with a child, its the best thing that could happen in your life, work for it, don’t be afraid, be there for them, give them all your love and attention and you will have the best life in this world!!!
Sunday 24 July 2011
Cars
I always like cars, i am a petrol head, i use to buy car magazines, watch top gear with passion, talk about cars with my friends, and dream about all the cars i could, should buy if i come in lots of money!!!!
When i meet my love i told i not be a car guy, it was a different thing, i am not a brand person, i told her that i would care about car x or z, the brand didn’t matter, its true, i was totally honest, at that time i am pretty average car, nothing special, i could have bought something different, "better".
Cars was a important part of my life, always, until very recently, and i was shocked, a few weeks, there was this massive jackpot in the euromilions, 185 millions euros, and i was surprised, when i realize i didn’t want any car, that the didn’t need another flashy car, i have a normal good car, i don’t need cars, i am surprised, i am really surprised...
If you are a guy and you are reading this, and you don’t know me, you think, boy this guy turn in such a wimp!!!! no, this guy is no wimp, this guy grow up, this guy doesn’t need a car, because this guy realize finally one thing, the car you drive should be there to move you from point a to b, to be safe for your love ones, not to show how much money you have, how fast can you go, today i pass by a magazine shop, there was a magazine i use to buy every month, and i pass by, and not like before...were the magazine would say to me...read me...i am here...and i would go and buy it, today, it didn’t say nothing, it didn’t told me nothing, i use to see all this car websites every day, and i stop this a few weeks, i don’t know, it simply a part of my life that close down, i will replace my car when i need to, i will get informed, i will buy a new car, but it would be a different process, it will be like buying a thing for the house.
If i would win millions of euros, i wouldn’t replace my car, no, its funny, i don’t know if this is part of my journey of love, i think when you get a shock in life, and you give yourself a deep look, you learn something’s about yourself, you start question everything, you take a big look at your believes, and you realize, cars, is not an important part of your life.
Dent get me wrong, there are things about my life that will be here with me forever, my love for sports, love for the sea, for the cinema, those things are part of me, and i will love them always, but cars?? not anymore....
i am growing up now, because of love, this love is changing me in a better person, all because of the women i love, i hope she one day will be with me, not because she needs me, but because she wants me!!!!!
When i meet my love i told i not be a car guy, it was a different thing, i am not a brand person, i told her that i would care about car x or z, the brand didn’t matter, its true, i was totally honest, at that time i am pretty average car, nothing special, i could have bought something different, "better".
Cars was a important part of my life, always, until very recently, and i was shocked, a few weeks, there was this massive jackpot in the euromilions, 185 millions euros, and i was surprised, when i realize i didn’t want any car, that the didn’t need another flashy car, i have a normal good car, i don’t need cars, i am surprised, i am really surprised...
If you are a guy and you are reading this, and you don’t know me, you think, boy this guy turn in such a wimp!!!! no, this guy is no wimp, this guy grow up, this guy doesn’t need a car, because this guy realize finally one thing, the car you drive should be there to move you from point a to b, to be safe for your love ones, not to show how much money you have, how fast can you go, today i pass by a magazine shop, there was a magazine i use to buy every month, and i pass by, and not like before...were the magazine would say to me...read me...i am here...and i would go and buy it, today, it didn’t say nothing, it didn’t told me nothing, i use to see all this car websites every day, and i stop this a few weeks, i don’t know, it simply a part of my life that close down, i will replace my car when i need to, i will get informed, i will buy a new car, but it would be a different process, it will be like buying a thing for the house.
If i would win millions of euros, i wouldn’t replace my car, no, its funny, i don’t know if this is part of my journey of love, i think when you get a shock in life, and you give yourself a deep look, you learn something’s about yourself, you start question everything, you take a big look at your believes, and you realize, cars, is not an important part of your life.
Dent get me wrong, there are things about my life that will be here with me forever, my love for sports, love for the sea, for the cinema, those things are part of me, and i will love them always, but cars?? not anymore....
i am growing up now, because of love, this love is changing me in a better person, all because of the women i love, i hope she one day will be with me, not because she needs me, but because she wants me!!!!!
Roma
For some Rome is a city, a name, a street, a place, for me is so much more, for me Roma is a magical place, it’s a place of wonder, it’s the place i touch my love for the first time, it’s the place we promise love to each other, its place i will keep for every in my heart.
It’s funny how a place can bring so much joy and sadness to you, when i was with my love, every time i would go there, or pass by Roma, i would feel like angels have touch my heart, i would feel like a kid, i was smiling, i was so full of joy, it a place here i had spend 3 days in heaven! Not that the weather was even great, no far from it, it was blowing with rain, it was cold, it was a time where you could hardly come out, but you cared????? not me, i was starting the best time of my life, i was starting a life with the women i was in love for so long, a love that look so distant and impossible just a few month before, it was like i has greeted with a miracle, it was like the finally i could have love!!!! True love!!!!
Today me and my love are not together any more, i cannot see Roma, i cannot even think about just passing by it, its not easy, i could i go to a place where i was so happy??? its not easy go to a place where everything started and where you have so many memories...
Roma for me will always mean 3 days of the most happy time i could have had, i couldn’t think about better times, it when every new cm of your lover is new, the little kiss, the gentle touch, everything is pure, everything so exciting, you reach moment where you are at perfect harmony with life!!! this is what i miss, this is what i try to recover, i can carry on forever without my love, i can survive, millions of people lose they love every day, so give up, so think its ok, some fight back, i am the type i will fight for my love, i will fight for one day, i can bring my love to the exact place where we started, and promise her that from that moment on i will be her forever!!! we all have a perfect person out there for us, most of us will never find her, most of us will settle for a second choice, or a third choice, i have found my soul mate, i have found the ONE!
Life is about choices, we can always try to go for the easy solution, or we can risk getting hurt, suffer, endure pain, and have no certainty in the end, but i rather prefer to go through this them settle for a second choice!!
I hope i can return to Roma one day....
It’s funny how a place can bring so much joy and sadness to you, when i was with my love, every time i would go there, or pass by Roma, i would feel like angels have touch my heart, i would feel like a kid, i was smiling, i was so full of joy, it a place here i had spend 3 days in heaven! Not that the weather was even great, no far from it, it was blowing with rain, it was cold, it was a time where you could hardly come out, but you cared????? not me, i was starting the best time of my life, i was starting a life with the women i was in love for so long, a love that look so distant and impossible just a few month before, it was like i has greeted with a miracle, it was like the finally i could have love!!!! True love!!!!
Today me and my love are not together any more, i cannot see Roma, i cannot even think about just passing by it, its not easy, i could i go to a place where i was so happy??? its not easy go to a place where everything started and where you have so many memories...
Roma for me will always mean 3 days of the most happy time i could have had, i couldn’t think about better times, it when every new cm of your lover is new, the little kiss, the gentle touch, everything is pure, everything so exciting, you reach moment where you are at perfect harmony with life!!! this is what i miss, this is what i try to recover, i can carry on forever without my love, i can survive, millions of people lose they love every day, so give up, so think its ok, some fight back, i am the type i will fight for my love, i will fight for one day, i can bring my love to the exact place where we started, and promise her that from that moment on i will be her forever!!! we all have a perfect person out there for us, most of us will never find her, most of us will settle for a second choice, or a third choice, i have found my soul mate, i have found the ONE!
Life is about choices, we can always try to go for the easy solution, or we can risk getting hurt, suffer, endure pain, and have no certainty in the end, but i rather prefer to go through this them settle for a second choice!!
I hope i can return to Roma one day....
Saturday 23 July 2011
Partner
I always consider I didn't need to the same things my love would do, i always think i should love her, and we could have our own separate hobbies or things to do, i did consider that we didn’t need to do lots of things together, love would be enough!!!
The funny thing is a relationship without a common goal starts to be two people living in the same space and sharing a bed....i wish i could turn back time, i wish this so much, every day i remember things, and know, today, how different i would do them, i would change so much in the past things i did!!!!
i try to create a common activity, something i always loved, we try, i didn’t read the signs, i didn’t share an activity, i was bring someone to a new activity, one did for ever, and no share, was not partner, insted i try to be a "boss" try to impose an activity in my love.
I would have been patient, start for the first things, like we were both starting, let her enjoy, let her learn, build a common love for this, ahhhhhh, it drives me mad today to think i could have teach her, could have bring this joy to her, and in fact i rush things, bring her to a situation where she was not comfortable, didn’t enjoy, and in the end she gave up!!!
I know today the value of sharing, I know that we should have a plan to share things, to enjoy things together, to go for walks, to run, to go to concerts, to have a common goal, i am not saying this because it sounds good, i am not saying this because i know that what my love would like to hear, i am saying this because is what i truly believe, and i am soooooooooooooooo sorry that i only learn this know!!!
life is a very strange process, i don’t want to be a better person for my "next" love, i dont want a next love, i want this love, i want to show to my love i am better person, that i can make her so happy, that i can be the man she deserves, a man she can love forever!!!! one will always be there for her!! one wno will never disapoint her!!
Live is about sharing, its about being a partner for your love, is about the joys of planning a new trip, a journey, a holiday, its about being there, about doing a walk in snow, holding your loves hand, and enjoying every moment of this time.
We all have hobbies, we all enjoying doing some things, but do you think this is worth more them your love? Do you enjoy more going alone to do something that spends time with your love??? if you think that, if you think you don’t need to share a life, then you better think how deep is your love, or how mature you are, and being mature doesn’t mean being young, or being new to relationships, you need to grow up, you need to learn how the other person is, and be there for her!!! She must be the most important thing for you!!! She is your love, never forget that.
Some days are easy them others, today i am having tough day, i miss my love so much, i wish she could be here with me, with her child, we could all be going to do something together, i miss her laugh, i miss her smile, i miss the joy and happiness of her child, it’s very tough today, very hard...
i know no one will read this, i know this is a empty page in book of thousands of pages, and i need to keep writing, so one day, maybe she will understand better how much love i have for her!!!! And pray so much for a second chance....
The funny thing is a relationship without a common goal starts to be two people living in the same space and sharing a bed....i wish i could turn back time, i wish this so much, every day i remember things, and know, today, how different i would do them, i would change so much in the past things i did!!!!
i try to create a common activity, something i always loved, we try, i didn’t read the signs, i didn’t share an activity, i was bring someone to a new activity, one did for ever, and no share, was not partner, insted i try to be a "boss" try to impose an activity in my love.
I would have been patient, start for the first things, like we were both starting, let her enjoy, let her learn, build a common love for this, ahhhhhh, it drives me mad today to think i could have teach her, could have bring this joy to her, and in fact i rush things, bring her to a situation where she was not comfortable, didn’t enjoy, and in the end she gave up!!!
I know today the value of sharing, I know that we should have a plan to share things, to enjoy things together, to go for walks, to run, to go to concerts, to have a common goal, i am not saying this because it sounds good, i am not saying this because i know that what my love would like to hear, i am saying this because is what i truly believe, and i am soooooooooooooooo sorry that i only learn this know!!!
life is a very strange process, i don’t want to be a better person for my "next" love, i dont want a next love, i want this love, i want to show to my love i am better person, that i can make her so happy, that i can be the man she deserves, a man she can love forever!!!! one will always be there for her!! one wno will never disapoint her!!
Live is about sharing, its about being a partner for your love, is about the joys of planning a new trip, a journey, a holiday, its about being there, about doing a walk in snow, holding your loves hand, and enjoying every moment of this time.
We all have hobbies, we all enjoying doing some things, but do you think this is worth more them your love? Do you enjoy more going alone to do something that spends time with your love??? if you think that, if you think you don’t need to share a life, then you better think how deep is your love, or how mature you are, and being mature doesn’t mean being young, or being new to relationships, you need to grow up, you need to learn how the other person is, and be there for her!!! She must be the most important thing for you!!! She is your love, never forget that.
Some days are easy them others, today i am having tough day, i miss my love so much, i wish she could be here with me, with her child, we could all be going to do something together, i miss her laugh, i miss her smile, i miss the joy and happiness of her child, it’s very tough today, very hard...
i know no one will read this, i know this is a empty page in book of thousands of pages, and i need to keep writing, so one day, maybe she will understand better how much love i have for her!!!! And pray so much for a second chance....
Friday 22 July 2011
Joy
Do you a moment in your life were everything is magic? Were you seen to touch heaven? Were you can be over 40 and feel like you are 15? That every time you drive home to meet your love you are so nervous like it was the first date of your life?
That when you open the door and she is there waiting for you, you feel the rush of joy in your heart, that you feel i the true meaning of happiness!!!
And i may ask, how many times you told the women you love this? in my case none, and i am shocked, because I did the usual mistake, you think, I don’t need to say anything, she knows how i feel. Maybe she knows, but why don’t you say it?? Why don’t you look in her eyes and say...you make me feel like i am touch by god, by the heaven, you bring beautiful magic in my life!!!
Why don’t we say it? because we are man, we are not suppose to say this things, its not real man stuff, and so we keep our mouth close, and instead of being a man in love, you are just another guy!!!
This is the biggest different, you are not just another guy, you are a man in love!!! You should tell how much you feel for her, how much afraid you are of losing her, and don’t try to pretend you are big man, full of certainties.
How many times i would wake up at night, and look to the women i loved while she would sleep, so peacefully in her blankets, she was always saying it was cold, i would cover with the blanket, and i would think, how this amazing beautiful women loves me??? me, a regular person, just another man, how lucky i was, how happy i was, and today i have the memories, today i have no one in my bed, and i learn my lesson, love is a very fragile thing, the day you stop treat it well, you are on the road to lose the most important person in your life!!
You may think its ok, there is more girls out there, i will love again, maybe, but why you need to go looking when you have the perfect person next to you? Never lose her!!!!
When you are heaven, why do you need to go looking? When you lose, like me a love like this, you will never be the same again, i have now a mark, a standard that will be almost impossible to reach, by any future relantionships!
Joy or pain? we sometimes take the choice without even realize we are doing it!!! don’t lose your love!!! Keep it close to you, keep close to your heart, don’t be afraid to say....I love you deeply and madly!!!
That when you open the door and she is there waiting for you, you feel the rush of joy in your heart, that you feel i the true meaning of happiness!!!
And i may ask, how many times you told the women you love this? in my case none, and i am shocked, because I did the usual mistake, you think, I don’t need to say anything, she knows how i feel. Maybe she knows, but why don’t you say it?? Why don’t you look in her eyes and say...you make me feel like i am touch by god, by the heaven, you bring beautiful magic in my life!!!
Why don’t we say it? because we are man, we are not suppose to say this things, its not real man stuff, and so we keep our mouth close, and instead of being a man in love, you are just another guy!!!
This is the biggest different, you are not just another guy, you are a man in love!!! You should tell how much you feel for her, how much afraid you are of losing her, and don’t try to pretend you are big man, full of certainties.
How many times i would wake up at night, and look to the women i loved while she would sleep, so peacefully in her blankets, she was always saying it was cold, i would cover with the blanket, and i would think, how this amazing beautiful women loves me??? me, a regular person, just another man, how lucky i was, how happy i was, and today i have the memories, today i have no one in my bed, and i learn my lesson, love is a very fragile thing, the day you stop treat it well, you are on the road to lose the most important person in your life!!
You may think its ok, there is more girls out there, i will love again, maybe, but why you need to go looking when you have the perfect person next to you? Never lose her!!!!
When you are heaven, why do you need to go looking? When you lose, like me a love like this, you will never be the same again, i have now a mark, a standard that will be almost impossible to reach, by any future relantionships!
Joy or pain? we sometimes take the choice without even realize we are doing it!!! don’t lose your love!!! Keep it close to you, keep close to your heart, don’t be afraid to say....I love you deeply and madly!!!
Rules
You think your rules and ways are the right ones, maybe they are for you, when you live with not one but two persons, your rules are not maybe the right ones!!!
Why i say this? When i start a life with my love i have been living alone for a while, with a series of rules and ideas that were drilled into me by life!! Be tough, be never go back on your word, you are in command!! This is fine if you are a drill sergeant, training some recruits for the army!!!
This doesn’t apply to a family life with a little child and women you love!!! Don’t do the same mistake as me!!! being strict over a minor thing is not good, it’s just a stupid power game you play that leads to nothing, just lead the person you love to start asking herself, why do I love this guy??? And don’t foul yourself, she may love you 100% but she will always love more her child!!!
Why we do this?? Why we don’t listen? why don’t we stop and say, this is not my child, i am not the father, the child have a father, I should be a friend, a sort of uncle, yes, play a role, a supportive role for the mother, be a rock for the mother when times are difficult, not be a new sort of stress and problems!!
This was a sort of problems that lead to the biggest strain in your relationship, and I bring them to me, me by being stupid, I clear remember a BBC programme saying, you should use the same approach to toddler like the one you use to train pets, punishment and reward! What a joke!!!!!!! Kids are not cats or dogs!!!! i know this now, i know this the hard way, so please don’t do the same mistake as me!!!
if you are in a similar situation, play a supportive role, have a serious talk with the women you love, ask her what she thinks, discuss with her, don’t try to push your view, if you don’t agree with something tell her, have a open discussion, but never forget, its her child, in the last case she has the final say!!!
Your there to support her, not challenge her!!! Doesn’t matter what is the subject, love is much more important them your stupid power games!!!
and don’t think a kid of 2 or 3 years is an adult, expect them to cry, to laugh, to cry for reason you don’t understand, you think are not important, instead of trying to make the child tough, or going away because you don’t understand, learn to love a child, read, get informed!!!! buy books about kids...did I do this? no...and I cannot tell how much I regret that!!!
In a relationship the most important rule is balance, in a case like this when your partner already have a child, you should not try to impose yourself, you should be her wingman, her support system, don’t try to impose your rules and opinion!!!! Love her, and be FLEXIBLE!!!!!
Why i say this? When i start a life with my love i have been living alone for a while, with a series of rules and ideas that were drilled into me by life!! Be tough, be never go back on your word, you are in command!! This is fine if you are a drill sergeant, training some recruits for the army!!!
This doesn’t apply to a family life with a little child and women you love!!! Don’t do the same mistake as me!!! being strict over a minor thing is not good, it’s just a stupid power game you play that leads to nothing, just lead the person you love to start asking herself, why do I love this guy??? And don’t foul yourself, she may love you 100% but she will always love more her child!!!
Why we do this?? Why we don’t listen? why don’t we stop and say, this is not my child, i am not the father, the child have a father, I should be a friend, a sort of uncle, yes, play a role, a supportive role for the mother, be a rock for the mother when times are difficult, not be a new sort of stress and problems!!
This was a sort of problems that lead to the biggest strain in your relationship, and I bring them to me, me by being stupid, I clear remember a BBC programme saying, you should use the same approach to toddler like the one you use to train pets, punishment and reward! What a joke!!!!!!! Kids are not cats or dogs!!!! i know this now, i know this the hard way, so please don’t do the same mistake as me!!!
if you are in a similar situation, play a supportive role, have a serious talk with the women you love, ask her what she thinks, discuss with her, don’t try to push your view, if you don’t agree with something tell her, have a open discussion, but never forget, its her child, in the last case she has the final say!!!
Your there to support her, not challenge her!!! Doesn’t matter what is the subject, love is much more important them your stupid power games!!!
and don’t think a kid of 2 or 3 years is an adult, expect them to cry, to laugh, to cry for reason you don’t understand, you think are not important, instead of trying to make the child tough, or going away because you don’t understand, learn to love a child, read, get informed!!!! buy books about kids...did I do this? no...and I cannot tell how much I regret that!!!
In a relationship the most important rule is balance, in a case like this when your partner already have a child, you should not try to impose yourself, you should be her wingman, her support system, don’t try to impose your rules and opinion!!!! Love her, and be FLEXIBLE!!!!!
Wednesday 20 July 2011
early phase
I when I start my relationship with my love she had a daughter, a little girl, around 2 years old, the fact she had a daughter didn’t make me afraid, or love her less, it made me love even more!!!!
the first month where pure joy, i felt real love for the first time in my love, i had love before, people speak about love, they confuse passion, lust, sex, attraction with love, this was love, pure love!!!! The sort that makes you smile, the one that makes you feel the most happy person in this planet!!
How did handle all that? Bad!!! I did the worst mistake ever, i took things for granted, i knew she love me, I love her, hey, everything is going to be fine, we love each other!!!
This is in the films, this is the tv, reality is different, its flesh and blood, you need to work for your love, you need to show how important this person is for you!!!! i never told enough times how beautiful she was, how great she look, i didn’t kiss her enough, I didn’t hold her enough!!! I was a good boyfriend, but not the one i could have been!!!
when my love join my life,she was not totally over her last relationship, it was a long last relationship, and this leaves marks, I know today better, because today i can feel the same, I can relate better, in fact now I can even understand how the guy must have felted, I start the story as the odd one out, none of her friends new me, her family never saw me before, I try to handle it well, my idea was conquer them by being a "shiny" me, a not the real me, not someone who was afraid, who try so much that every one like him, because I didn’t want to lose my love!!!
And we you do this, you are not showing your true self, and you think you are showing your best side, you funny, clever side, but maybe you should show is your human side....
how don’t know how many times we ask yourselves, if i was back in time, how different I would do this....do that...
The problem is we cannot back time, we can only change the future, and this is what i am trying to do now!!!
I am no writer, I not doctor, I not a guy’s advice site, I am just a man who loves with all its heart someone, and he is fighting for a love that is going away, day by day!! I just want to say, I did everything, I didn’t leave a single rock unturned, I don’t want look back and say...why didn’t I did this or that, that is the reason why I do all of this now!!!
the first month where pure joy, i felt real love for the first time in my love, i had love before, people speak about love, they confuse passion, lust, sex, attraction with love, this was love, pure love!!!! The sort that makes you smile, the one that makes you feel the most happy person in this planet!!
How did handle all that? Bad!!! I did the worst mistake ever, i took things for granted, i knew she love me, I love her, hey, everything is going to be fine, we love each other!!!
This is in the films, this is the tv, reality is different, its flesh and blood, you need to work for your love, you need to show how important this person is for you!!!! i never told enough times how beautiful she was, how great she look, i didn’t kiss her enough, I didn’t hold her enough!!! I was a good boyfriend, but not the one i could have been!!!
when my love join my life,she was not totally over her last relationship, it was a long last relationship, and this leaves marks, I know today better, because today i can feel the same, I can relate better, in fact now I can even understand how the guy must have felted, I start the story as the odd one out, none of her friends new me, her family never saw me before, I try to handle it well, my idea was conquer them by being a "shiny" me, a not the real me, not someone who was afraid, who try so much that every one like him, because I didn’t want to lose my love!!!
And we you do this, you are not showing your true self, and you think you are showing your best side, you funny, clever side, but maybe you should show is your human side....
how don’t know how many times we ask yourselves, if i was back in time, how different I would do this....do that...
The problem is we cannot back time, we can only change the future, and this is what i am trying to do now!!!
I am no writer, I not doctor, I not a guy’s advice site, I am just a man who loves with all its heart someone, and he is fighting for a love that is going away, day by day!! I just want to say, I did everything, I didn’t leave a single rock unturned, I don’t want look back and say...why didn’t I did this or that, that is the reason why I do all of this now!!!
The Start
You meet a girl, a women, she is still single, you are single, you have feelings for her, and yet you do nothing, you are afraid of loving, of getting hurt, of leaving, and you decide it’s better not to do anything.
You cry, you will try to exercise until the pain goes away, it’s not simple, love is there, then you decide, i will open my heart, i will tell everything i feel, them she no longer just in a relationship, now she is expecting a child, and i was told she is married, what can you do???? she bought a house!!! they have a stable relationship....a child....you think what can i offer besides my love? i was in a job that would end in a few months, best in two years...them you have to leave....you ask yourself....can I break a marriage? a life of two people and a child? you know that you will leave the job in a year, you know all of this, and you do the coward thing, you give up, you think love is not enough, you quit!!!! you dont speak a word.....you dont even try....you leave without even open your heart.
And you pretend, you pretend you are tough, that you are a man, that everything is fine, that you don’t feel anything, you start chasing all this other girls, you even let her know that you are chasing all this girls, you pretend...you try to look like everything is so fine...that you are having a great time...but inside you are broken, you cannot sleep, you wake up at 3.00 and you cannot go back to sleep, so you go and run, at 3.00 in the morning....in the winter...and you run, run until you cannot even walk....you vomit, you fall, you destroy your calve muscles.....i would limp for weeks...i shaved my head..you tell every one how great you are...all lies and them leave, you move city, you move country, and try to forget, try not to think about this magic person you have in your heart that you think day and night.
Them life gives you a chance, she moves in your town, you start hoping, you start to life again, them like by magic you meet, her she kisses you, she confess her love for you, if you are reading you think, this is to easy, this guy must be happy, this guy is lucky, this was the beginning, it’s not now, now the story is very different, now I am alone, now i am back to start, but much worse because now i know what is to have love, that you found the right person for you, and you lost this love.
This is way for me to express my feelings, to give a story about a life journey, about hope and despair, it’s about don’t listen to other, close your hears to friends and family and believe in what you heart says.
If you read the net, the magzines, the books, they all say the same if you have feelings for a girl, women who have a family, a child, the usual advice is...forget it...it’s bad...it’s not going to work...i start writting this because that advice is crapp....I say listen to your heart, love is love, if you have love, dont give up!
Don’t do the same mistakes as me, love her and fight for love!!! i am fighting for her love, i will fight until i have no there is not hope but this time i will not give up.
This blog will be a story from the past until today...journey from sadness to happiness to despair, back to happiness to pain, and worse them everything to a limbo that is existing situation, If you are going in the same situation, be here, and tell me about your stories and you fight to get your love!!!
this is a sign, this is cry for a fight for what you believe, a process of hope and maybe of helling, i dont know where this will lead me...but i am on walking the road of life....
I do this blog like I life now, one day at the time! and i dont mind if no one reads it, i am doing this for me, a way to say all the things i cannot say in real life, so i can say them here its like tell your story to the wind...
if the english is bad i am sorry, its not my mother language!!! the feeling is true!
You cry, you will try to exercise until the pain goes away, it’s not simple, love is there, then you decide, i will open my heart, i will tell everything i feel, them she no longer just in a relationship, now she is expecting a child, and i was told she is married, what can you do???? she bought a house!!! they have a stable relationship....a child....you think what can i offer besides my love? i was in a job that would end in a few months, best in two years...them you have to leave....you ask yourself....can I break a marriage? a life of two people and a child? you know that you will leave the job in a year, you know all of this, and you do the coward thing, you give up, you think love is not enough, you quit!!!! you dont speak a word.....you dont even try....you leave without even open your heart.
And you pretend, you pretend you are tough, that you are a man, that everything is fine, that you don’t feel anything, you start chasing all this other girls, you even let her know that you are chasing all this girls, you pretend...you try to look like everything is so fine...that you are having a great time...but inside you are broken, you cannot sleep, you wake up at 3.00 and you cannot go back to sleep, so you go and run, at 3.00 in the morning....in the winter...and you run, run until you cannot even walk....you vomit, you fall, you destroy your calve muscles.....i would limp for weeks...i shaved my head..you tell every one how great you are...all lies and them leave, you move city, you move country, and try to forget, try not to think about this magic person you have in your heart that you think day and night.
Them life gives you a chance, she moves in your town, you start hoping, you start to life again, them like by magic you meet, her she kisses you, she confess her love for you, if you are reading you think, this is to easy, this guy must be happy, this guy is lucky, this was the beginning, it’s not now, now the story is very different, now I am alone, now i am back to start, but much worse because now i know what is to have love, that you found the right person for you, and you lost this love.
This is way for me to express my feelings, to give a story about a life journey, about hope and despair, it’s about don’t listen to other, close your hears to friends and family and believe in what you heart says.
If you read the net, the magzines, the books, they all say the same if you have feelings for a girl, women who have a family, a child, the usual advice is...forget it...it’s bad...it’s not going to work...i start writting this because that advice is crapp....I say listen to your heart, love is love, if you have love, dont give up!
Don’t do the same mistakes as me, love her and fight for love!!! i am fighting for her love, i will fight until i have no there is not hope but this time i will not give up.
This blog will be a story from the past until today...journey from sadness to happiness to despair, back to happiness to pain, and worse them everything to a limbo that is existing situation, If you are going in the same situation, be here, and tell me about your stories and you fight to get your love!!!
this is a sign, this is cry for a fight for what you believe, a process of hope and maybe of helling, i dont know where this will lead me...but i am on walking the road of life....
I do this blog like I life now, one day at the time! and i dont mind if no one reads it, i am doing this for me, a way to say all the things i cannot say in real life, so i can say them here its like tell your story to the wind...
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