december

This december start a new approach, a new start in my life, i will leave my old job, i will leave my house, my country and move, move to a new job, apartment, city, country, its a fresh start, and the best thing of all of this is i will be near Anna.

I will life in the same city, in place we can see each other, were i hope we can enjoy a good time, i saw her, and i am not lying, i am not trying to play any games, every time i see i think, that i am close to the most beautifull girl in the universe, i smile, i feel like am take the world, that i the most lucky guy in the world to be there talking to her, is this love? i am still in love????

Yes, no, yes, no, i dont know, i have all this feelings, if she ask me back, i would say yes, in a blink, and yet i can survive if she say she doesnt want me, i dont want to build any expectations, i dont want to build any hope, i cannot confuse her being a friend to me, to a sign that she wants me back, its not easy, but its reality....

I will always love her, i will always have her in my heart, but i cannot be the guy who waits for ever to never to be called, to never have a second change, that i put all my life on hold to be confronted one day to Anna having a boyfriend or a husband...or even worse, to see her being alone and dont want you, i have to see how this change in place, in meeting her on a regular base, on us see each other now, to see how we changed, how we were shaped by current events, how we are now, maybe we are not going to together again, or maybe we are now perfect to each other, who knows????

what i know is december is the month of my birth, and last year, it start bad, it was like omen, it was like a sign that this december of 2010 to december 2011 would be what i can consider the worse year of my life, it was the only time in my life i lost hope, total lost of hope, i hit rock botton....this last days, this moments i have hope, i have a reason to believe life will be good....so i have a different sign, a different light, so maybe this will be like they say, after the storm will come sunny days, maybe i am ready to enter the sunny days!!!

life is not a easy road, its worth travel for, we should never stop fighting for what we believe, we should fight until the last breath we have, never stop, never quit, and if its for love, it until the day we die!!!!

i like this december, i have hope, i have joy, i have a reason to live!!!!!!