on the way

I am starting a new chapther in my life, time is running down, its fast, its amazing how fast can move, i am chancing my life, i am changing my job, we have a say, new new year, new life, and this year its not literal, its reality, new job, apartment, city, country, gym, it may say i will change everything, maybe i change a lot, but there are things you dont change.

In this days i am closing down a life in here and be ready for the move, during the mad rush you think also a lot, can you change??? maybe change is not the right word, i didnt change, i look at the mirror i am the same, i didnt change when i say i will never cheat the women i love, i dont change in the values i consider right, i didnt change in the way i view the world, i didnt change in believing in do the right thing independent what people my think of you or what will be the costs...

and yet i i change, i am so much tolerant, more open, ready to share, learn to see the other side, to be able to realize you need to share, you need to be there, you need to be a friend, to be source of help, of joy, i took a look back as this year is coming to an end, and i realize i move a lot, this year 2011, was not good for me, it was full of pain, suffering, devastation, miseary, but...and its a big but, it open the door to my heart, of my mind, and maybe of my life, its a year i will never forget, this year which i start being fully convinced of everything, of my ideas, of my views of the world, of what was right and wrong...i will finish with a view that in fact i have much less black and white views, i learn a lot about me, i learn a lot about life, about love, about what is really important in life, if you ask me...what you want for christmas, i would say what i want more them everything in life is that the women i love, loves me back, that simple...love!!!

i see during this days the mad shopping, the expensive gifts and i ask how much of this gifts are being bought not with joy, not to give joy, just to prove you spend a lot of money...are you giving the biggest of all to the persons you care??? are you giving them true friendship? love??? this is what i give, i hope them see that, that i would do anything for the people i trully care, one person i know, its not a friend, he couldnt be my friend, his wife as lung cancer and he could give her a lung, and he is not sure, because he races bikes on the weekend and he is not sure how this will affect this performance...i was speaking with him and 3 other guys in the gym...and i was shocked that no one said..you are a fucking bastard!!! i said it!!! they all look at me like was mad...i would have done this before even the doctor said the phrase....how can you carry one living in a situation like this????? what are we living in today???

this is part of that change, maybe i "change", improve, grow up, saw the "light", i am a better person, i am better with me, i hope i will be better with others, i hope that my christmas wish will come true, love!!!!

i dont have it now, but i have hope!!!!!! 2012 will be a love year!!!!