Christmas

Christmas is a special time, for me it not about the presents, its about being with the ones you love, the family, the special people in your heart, i see this christmas in two ways, as the close down of a period of dark clouds in my life and a open of a new life!!!!

i hope by next christmas my blog will be different, will be a song of joy, of sharing a life, of a the creation of a family, this is the wish for me, this is what i will ask for my christmas present!!! was i good enough for that??? i hope so!!! i did a massive effort for good, and its something i dont stop now, and i will never stop, i made a promise to myself, i promise to be honest, to be pure, to be happy and to be strong!!! i promise i will never cheat, i will never play games, i will life to that!!! i am living to that!!!

this last two days i show that i can keep with this promise, i was approach my one of colleagues to start an affair, she told she like me, she had feelings for me and since i was leaving we could have a affair...nothing important...just an affair...but she is married...i am not married...i dont have a girlfriend...so i was not cheating no one...but i was part of a game...of something i would start and where it would end no one knows...and i dont love her..i dont feel nothing....sex? no! i want more them sex, i want love!!!!

i am going to move, i am not sure when i can make my next post, but it will be in the same place where Anna and her child life...i can see the stars and know we will be both be looking at the same sky, that will see the same sun...share the smell of rain...and that i can see her...this is great feeling for me!!!

should we be just friends???? we are just friends!!!! i am there as her friend...as her support...i am honest and i be pure...and i hope God can look at me and say, you will have a second chance...they say true love conquers all...my love is true and pure....so maybe i can find love again!!! this is christmas we always hope in time...so lets hope...lets pray...and be honest, pure and true!!!

i am maybe the last of dying breed, the last of the romantics, the last of the ones you trully believe in love, in one person for ever and that is better to fight for what he believes!!! there is this magic phrase....accept what you cannot change...change what you cannot accept... i cannot change the fact that after the day will come the night, that we go old, that during our lifes we will lose ones to death....but i cannot accept that life is about cheating and affair...no...this i cannot accept..and i will work to find...true love!!!!!

i know this is for me, this is my way to express what i trully feel...but if you came across this blog in this time...light a candle for me, pray for me, ask good to give me a change....and have a merry christmas!!!