new hope and fear

I am living a new phase in my life, i am passing moments of being very happy and being very afraid!!! In the last weeks, i have go out with Anna, just the two of us, we had two dinners, i am so happy, i am smiling like i was a kid of 7 years old in the christmas night, i feel so good, everytime i am with her, its like the rest of the world doesnt exist, everything is perfect!!!

you can say, hey, its just dinner, nothing happen, dont make films in your head, she is just being friendly, i know, but i am sharing a moment with her, i see her, i can make her laugh, i am make her mind move away from daily issues to adventures and stories, i can try to show her the optimist side of life! i try to show her there another side of life, a side of sharing, a person she can trust and will be always there for her.

i hope, there is hope again, its great feeling, and i am afraid, i am afraid i am hoping to much, that in the end nothing will happen, but i am also saying to myself, dont think to much, enjoy this moments, take them as place in time, a time for a few hours, everything is perfect, everything is full of joy, that for that instants my heart is full of joy!!!

sometimes we are afraid, we all are afraid, i am not afraid no phisical pain, of hard days, i am afraid of not see Anna, of not being part of her life,this is the only thing i am afraid.

i realise in this last year, that we care to much about things that are not that important! we care about money,about cars, about clothes, about "toys", i am free from this, i am free from all this consumer approach, i dont want any new stuff, i want to share a life, a moment, a day with the person i love!!! i pass by sportcar yesterday, and i would spend time looking at it, and thinking if i had lots of money i would buy one, but yesterday, i look, i smile, i think, nice car and that was it!! the car before was more them just a car, it was a way to show how sucessful you were, tool to impress others, now a car is a tool to drive me from place a to b, it was to realiable and safe, i dont need a car to impress girls, i have one person in my heart, and i am sure she is impressed with loyalty, with joy, with laughting, with respect, with being generous, with a partner that helps her every day them with the car i drive.

yes, i have hope, and i love, and like every one who love, we are afraid to lose the person we love, i have hope, this is a very generous feeling, because with hope all your life is more bright, have more colour!! i dont know how much my life will change in the next months, but i have a new hope, i have hope that one day, i have not pressure of time, i dont mind waiting, i am not rushed, i will have the chance to make Anna feel loved and special.

life is a long journey, when your intentions are pure, you have your objectives clear, you know what you want, and you have the love in your heart, time is not important, the love of the special person is the only thing that matters to you!!! i have hope!!!!