Stronger

I am reading a lot, i currently reading a very interesting book, it speaks about the difference about being tough and being strong, the main difference is tough makes you not feel, it makes you indiferent, it makes you distant, in a short line, it makes you less human, less able to feel, to love!

stronger makes you deal with the situations, makes you feel the pain, but you can resist, you can move on, you can learn from the pain, it keeps you open to feel, to love...

I realise one thing, i for a long time i was focusing on being more tough, and i was not getting better, i am moving towards being indifferent, to lose touch with life, i am now focus on being strong!!!

there is no magic soluction, there is no magic pill, we all deal with pain in different ways, i for a long time ask myself, why??? why?? I could have give Anna everything she wanted, a husband, a partner, a suport, a friend, a rock, a funny guy, love, true love...i stop ask myself why??? i dont know the answer, i maybe will never know, i am sure many of us in the similar situation ask ourselfs lots of questions, we keep trying to understand...

maybe the best is not to understand, is not knowing, its simpler learn to deal with the fact, i have no love, i lost her, and just look at pain in the eyes, while we keep asking questions, while we keep looking for a reason we avoid the basic thing, we are lost, we are afraid, we dont want more pain....no, look at the pain in the eyes, look in your heart, look at the hole in there, look at your fears, this is the only way we can move on with our lifes, doesnt matter what will happen in the future...we need to face our biggest question...she/he is gone...

i need to learn face this question....i can wish to go back in time, i can wish for a miracle, i can wish for a new chance....but i need to face the cruel reality, its not going to happen...

so i need to be stronger, and i am getting stronger every day, its a battle, day by day, like exercise, if you want to be in shape, if you go to the gym one day, you dont get in shape...its a long process, you need to exercise for a long period, the same thing with getting stronger, every day you get a bit stronger, you must carry on day by day, you are not getting stronger to revenge, to show to the other part what she/he is losing, you get stronger to live with joy, to enjoy your own life, to be happy!!!

i am getting stronger for me, and me only, so i can start a new phase in my life, so one day you can wake up and feel the joy of life in full force in your heart!! people say...i am not that strong...i was reading recently, "you only find how strong you are, when being strong is the only choice left"...its true, i live this, this being strong as nothing to do with being fit, in shape, have muscles or not, its about the capacity of dealing with problems that affect our lifes!!!!

Being strong is not about using other people, its not getting lots of girls, its not about stop believing in people, is not about lose hope, its not about lying, its not about being an asshole...a make believe "casanova"!!! its the opposite, its about being fair, just, its about learning and believing you will find some one who you can love, that life is beautiful, that people deserve a chance, that you are honest, that you can one day find love, that one day you can look in the eyes of your fear, and insted of being cold with fear, just smile....

how we get stronger??? there is no magic way, which one of us will have different way, we are all different, we all do things in a different way, for me, i read, punch my exercise bag, i run, i face the ocean, i see my friends, and i am honest, there are moments even i do all of this, i not happy, that you still think about that magic person...that there is still moments that you feel that you will break up...but day after day, you will learn to get better control, you will find joy in little things, you will be better, it not a instant process...you need to tell yourself...i am fighting a long war...not a battle...this is a war...a war with yourself, a war that you will only lose if you stop believing in yourself....every day is a battle....and every day is victory...so fight...fight like me...dont hold back...fight like today is your last day, fight like your life depends on this...this is a fight you cannot lose!!

i will not lose, i am a fighter and i am getting stronger!!!