At drift

Time is passing, time heals all wounds, time cures everything, but, why there is always a but, i am still miss Anna, i could lie and say, Anna?? who??? i wouldnt be honest, i saw her today, i gave some legal later that arrive for her..life brings me pieces to remember her, its letter send to my old address to her, i collect and give them to her

everytime i see her, i realise what i real feel, not what i want to feel, what i should feel,when i see her, its pure honesty, i cannot lie to myself, the first think in my mind is to give her a huge kiss, i saw her today, i miss her so much, i have this speech ready, to pretend i am so cool, that i am so fine....lies..but when i see her everything is forgotten, i dont remember nothing, i feel like a kid who is 15 and is in front of his first love, you cannot find the right words, the "cool" thing to say, i just said what i feel....and sometimes i shouldnt...

i just saw ther today and i still feel like the first time i saw her, i love her!!!!! i totaly love her!!!!! it was a short talk a few fast minutes, but everytime i speak with her, there is no pressure, its like there is a magic between us, like for that moment everything is perfect, i miss this, i miss her, i miss her smile, to see her big beautifull eyes, listen to her voice....

and i know, i know i am not part of her life, that i discarded cart, it hurts to say this, it hurts to still have this feelings for her, i shoudnt even let this word come to my mind, but i do, i realise one thing, i can no see her for months, i could never her see her again, but my heart is stupid, he doesnt learn about time, he just tells me, i love Anna!!!!

i have to learn to life, to life in a different way, we try forget the persons we loved, i cannot do that, i cannot forget Anna, what i need to to is not forget her, not to try to stop loving her, i need to learn to live with all the love for i have for her and not be with her, i need to learn how i can carry on living without see her, i need to learn how i can enjoy every day without having her next to me, i need to see other people, to find a different way to love others, is not easy, but i have no choice, i need to carry on...i need to live...

we are so sure in some moments, stronger, who have a plan, and all the sudden, you see the person of your life and you are like a lost kid, like a lost soul....i love ANNA!!!!!!!!!!!!! and yet i will never will have her...i need to learn to live with this facts and learn to move!!!

this is a very tough part of the year, tomorrow it makes on year of my darkest day in life, so lots of feelings, lots of memories, lots of things passing your mind, its a tough time, a confusing time, my path is not an easy one, but i am right way! i hope!!!

maybe one day, maybe if some one else cross my path, i find happiness, love, a reason to be trully happy, i believe that will happen and i am working for that, i am not having sorry of myself, i am out there, i am facing life, i am out there taking my chances, to be happy with what i have, moving forward with my life!!!

last year i ask go for a "favour" and i made a "promise" to God to "pay" this promise, that promise didnt come true, i didnt get what i wanted, but i will still honor my part, why?? its a question of faith! maybe the promise will happen, i dont know when, so i do what i promise to do!!
I carry on living....looking for the future, and starting walking to new day!