ikea

IKEA,  this is a common thing across Europe, when you move to another city, another country and you need to put things, to make yourself at home in fast, simple and not expensive way you go to ikea, so I did, it more them i expect, i was not just buying things for a house, it also a journey in the past, a moment to be shocked...

I arrive here about an week ago, I need to set my house, I need get ready for a new chapter in my life, so like thousands of people I went to ikea…and it was one of the most heartbreaking experience I had a long time.

I remember going to ikea with Anna, as we decorate our house in my country, at the time I didn’t even realize how luck I was, we get confused, we forget that sharing building a house with the person you love is one of the best experience of your life, I even complain about going to ikea, I saw almost going to ikea as boring thing, I didn’t even realize that I was going to build a home, a place for me and Anna to be happy.

As I cross the ikea, I see all this young couples, starting their life's, building a home for them, old couples, gay couples, and all are happy, all have sense of purpose, and I am trolling this ikea monster store alone, to build a empty apartment for me…

And when I cross the child session is terrible, i remember all the things i took for my love child, building her first bed when she turn 2, how can i look at the same bed and not feel nothing, I look back at the past, and I just want to kick myself to pulp, how could I let something so special go way???

If you read this, learn one thing, love is not a sure thing, you can love letters, declarations, expression of eternal love, but you need to work for it, you need to realize how special love is, ikea bring all of this to me again, I felt that I lost so much in life that hurts.

Ikea will now will be a symbol for me, a place if I am back with Anna or some one I love in the future, that love is constant process, you need to build on it, you to make sure it last, you need to understand that you cannot be passive in love, you need to love, it strange to have love you need to love the moments you are together, you need to see that every moment you spend with the person you love is a joy, a not a guarantee, but a prize, a precious gem, if we all think like that there would be much more love.

I have now a house this is ready, I will miss little things like internet at home, I still don’t have tv working, but I have a place I can rest when I return from work.

I saw Anna already and her child, its so wonderful to see them, its not easy to control what you feel, i want to be her friend, i cannot ever tell how much i care about her, you the fear that if you open your heart, if you saying the wrong thing, she will never will see me again, she will ban me forever from her life, I need to give time to time…

This first days are a roller coaster, you tend to feel things a bit more them when you are settle and have a good base, my foundations in here are just starting, I know I will be here for sure for the next two years, and possible 2 more, them we see...

there is a church near my house, I pass by it must of the days, i seat there, it’s a place where I can find some peace, where I can ask God to help me, i only ask for one thing, a simple thing, love, is this so much to ask?

I don’t have to understand everything I would just like to see a bit the lay plan for me!!

If you know the ikea process, see a love like that, if you want a nice love, you need to join the pieces, you need to connected them, you need to dedicate time and energy to your goal, and your goal in life should never be your work, your career, money, this is secondary things, your goal in life should be that the person who is with you is happy and loved, this is the most important thing ever!!!!!!!

Don’t lose your time with not important things, spend time in LOVE!!!