Fear...

Fear, one of the basic feelings of life, it keeps us in perspective, it avoid us of making some decisions, fear is a bad feeling, i was afraid, afraid to express what i felt, what i wanted, what i wish...

i was afraid of taking risks, of moving here when my love moved here, i was afraid to open my heart in 2003, what all this fear lead to????

how many of us feel fear today, of telling this person you watch, you love, and you are afraid to say, i love you!! how many of us are afraid of changing jobs, of following the one you love???

why??? why are we so afraid??? we are afraid because we are taught not to take risk, to be self centered, to think things will be ok, that life shouldnt be with risk, we are afraid of getting hurt, of feel pain, you not getting what we want...so we lie, that everything is fine...that you dont love this person, that you like your job...

and life hits back like a thousand bricks!!! you see the person you love move with some one else...you see your chance move away...and you ask yourself...why??? you say...life is so unfair!!!! but, what did you do?? did you did everything you could??

i was afraid...i had fear..i paid the price...the price i paid is the most heavy price...i lost the love of my life...yes, i learn from my mistakes...i will never do the same, i will never again fear take control of my life...

this is why i keep writing this blog, its a way i can clean my soul, and help some one out there, i read to much crap on the net, on books, the basic message is the same...you..YOU...YOU...life is all about you...about your need, your wants...NOOOOOOO...life is about sharing, is about making others happy...its about be able to be honest with you..its about not be afraid of taking risk...

so please forget your fears and take the risk..will you end with what you want??? i dont know...you dont know...but if you dont try, you lose twice, you will carry on in life asking what if??? and you will lose what you want for lacking of trying!!!

will you be hurt??? maybe...but life is not a walk in the park...its a run in the mountains...you will fell you will hurt yourself, but you will be alive!!!!

me??? i have no fear...none...i have zero fear, at all levels of life, i lost everything...i dont speak about material things...this dont matter, i lost the things i treasure more, Anna and her child, they were everything for me, now i have nothing, this took the fear away from me....its a strange process...

yesterday i after work, i went to ride my mountain bike...i recently fix my bike, the breaks were not working, the i went to try it...on a very hard downhill, my breaks stop working, doesnt matter if you press the breaks or not, nothing really happen.....i could see the trail getting narrow and i could see the corner going, i know i wouldnt make it, i try to break with my feet on the rear wheel....i didnt make...i felt...my front wheel is garbege, i broke my helmet...my left harm is blue and black bruise....i have still a bit of pain when i breath...i think i have a broken rib...and i didnt felt nothing...there was not this fear feeling, no moment think...this is going to hurt.....i knew i was going to crash, that would be a big crash and...nothing...no feeling...there was no fear, no feeling, yes, there was blood, and pain, but its the pain you have from your body....physical pain, this is a different thing...

why??? i am on a sort of death wish???? no...i simple need time to feel again...you have love, a reason to life...you will have fear...now i have none...there is no fear, nothing....just a empty feeling...

life is a journey, i am will keep walking my path, but if you are in crossed road of your life, if you have love and are afraid of expressing your feelings to that special person...dont wait for tomorrow, for next week...do it...do it now!!!! please!!!!! you dont want to feel what i feel now!!! be brave, love!!!