Sun

Sun, light, we all think about happy days with this beautiful sunny days, for me sun is different, is the light that guides me, the light the show me the way to happiness...

life is not a ride in the park, life is a swim in the waves, you have moments of peace, of panic, of fear, of joy, but this is what makes life so special, so marvellous,  when we just wait at the shore, we simply let life pass by us..

i love Anna, i Love her, i always did, i love her from the distance, i love from her arms, i love in a mad way, full of pre conceived ideas, full of certainties, not right, not clever, but i love her, i lost her love, i lost her light, i try to say to me, i dont love her, i can be just a friend, i gave it my best shot, i try to delete her from my heart, i couldnt, i fail, i love her, i love her truly and madly!!!!

i see her, i talk to her, and its like my life is magic, like everything is perfect, i am happy, i am full of joy, and do i have a reason to be happy??? to have any hope??? if i thing in my heart i say, of course!!! if i think with my head, maybe i am on the road to suffering....

so what??? i have one thing that i was always correct, i have to be honest with me, with what i feel, i feel love, love is a bloody mad feeling...we love even if the other person dont care about you, and yet you feel love, you still know that you have no chances, but you still love, you still hope, even after there is no hope...why??? why are we like this???? what is this force that takes control of our lifes???

i love, there is not a day, a moment i dont think about Anna, if i am in beautiful place i wish she could be here with me, to share a moment, to have a moment of our lifes together, a moment to remember, to tell our grandkids...i feel all this even when i dont have her in my life...i am sure i am not alone in this, there must be thousands of people there who feel just the same....

we all lose, we all lose, we all feel broken, what we do with this feeling is the difference, i use this feeling in me to be a sun to others, to try to bring light in others peoples lifes, to help them fighting for love, for becoming better persons, to go after their dreams, i use love to make myself a better person, to be more kind, to more correct, not pass judgement, to improve myself, to see the good things in life, to live life to the full!!!! love is magic gift you should treasure, how many of us can trully say, i have love in my life!!! its very different to say, i have a girlfriend, or boyfriend, i am married, no....i mean love, that feeling that makes you do wonder things, that makes you think about the others, not about you, not life in a selfish way, that feeling that opens your heart to joy and pain...its about learn to life with the best life have in you, to be the best person you can be, this is what this feel makes me, i am blessed with this feeling!!!

is life easier without love? maybe, maybe in a way its better to stay seated in the shore them go for a swim in the waves, but is more rewarding?

there is a difference, a huge difference between love, between have love and be loved, you can be loved and not love back, the magic, the most special moment in your life is when you love and you are loved also back, this is the moment your life is divine! what are the chances that you find that magic person and this person have in you her magic person???? people say...a lot, just look at the number of people who married, who have girlfriends....its not the same, we life society were joy and entertainment, sex, lust, is the key thing, not true love, people dont wait, that dont make an effort, i hear recently, i loved her, but she was too hard to get, so went to get another one...hard to get?? get another one?? what are we talking??' something in the supermarket? a thing???? i never understand this, if its love, you wait, you make an effort, you never give up, never, this is the value of love, this is what love makes me feel, that i have a reason to life, to fight, to be a better person!!! it bring the light in my heart!!!

i love, i love with all my heart, i have sun in my eyes, i am full of light in my heart, this feeling will be here with me, for ever, i hope that one day life will reward me, with the chance that i can love and be loved!!!!!!!

I may never be loved again by Anna, i may one day totally lose hope of her loving me, but this will not stop my love for her, its a strange thing, her love will be with me for ever!!! you can be inside your house, close all your curtains, but the sun will still be shinny outside!!!!