missing

There as things we miss, we all complain about missing something, maybe the sun, the rain, the hot days, the snow, the going to the beach, the calmer days of holidays, we all miss this things, but they are not big things to miss...

the big things to miss is not money, its not fancy jobs, is missing the people, the love, the people who are realy important for you, the people who touch your heart.

I miss Anna every day, its like i say in the blog, its not the time since i last saw her, its the time i am doing something and miss her...i miss when i wake up and there is no one there at my side, i miss her when i wake up during the night and look at my side and there is no one there....i miss her when i arrive home, i miss listen to hear voices, hear her telling how was her day at work...i miss hearing the voice of her child...i miss not see them...not see her smile, not see her child...no hear her child laugh....i miss give her foot massages...i miss kissing her....touching her..i miss my better half...i miss the person who is everything to me!!!

I have to learn life with the fact i maybe will never...cook for them again, that i will not able to listen to their stories, to hold them, to make them a tea, get an ice cream, to put a blanket on Anna when she was cold...i will miss being there for them, try to make them laugh with my crazy stories, i will miss not be able to see the child of my love grow up, i will miss see my love happy when the sun was up and was nice and hot, i will miss her going to the beach with me, i will miss her eyes, her smile...i will see her beautiful face...

i had hopes when i start this blog that i one day would be in Anna hearts, i would be her love...i miss this hope every day that passes by...hope that i wouldnt had to miss all of this, that i would be able to be there for them, every day, until the day i would die, that i would be able to share their lifes, to fix their bikes, to go to the supermarket, to make my love a nice surprise bath in the winter, to buy her little flowers, to take to places where she would be surprised, to plan our weeding, to see her in a church, to have kids, to be a family...

i am so different today from what i was, and yet i am so close to be what i was, the good parts are all here, and life show me the importance of love, of what is important, what i should be to the women i love...the things that where not good, they are now over...i am a so much better person...

I hope is one day i will miss nothing, i mean the realy important thing, i hope that one day, i can have a perfect day, this is come home and cook a surprise dinner for and Anna and her child, knowing that in a few minutes my wife, Anna and her child will arrive, them i know that i am not missing nothing in my life!!!