Afraid

I am trying to see how this person, who means so much to me, and i am afraid, i have to be honest, i am afraid she will not love again, i am petrified, its one of the most scary things in my mind, that she doesn’t love me back!!!! that will never will see her again...

When you start fresh is different, there is not past, there is not story, everything is new, i have past with my love, we lived together and there was perfect moments and fights. We had bad moments and great moments, one thing she maybe be afraid is to open her heart to me again because she is afraid that we will return to a situation where we will be fighting, we fight for mainly two things, my approach to her child, and me not being a very flexible person!!!! i was not, its true, i was use to a routine, to habits, and i was also a "smartass" i was always right...and she is afraid that i will be the same person as before, this is the bad part because i know now i am a person who will always loved her, and i changed!!

i must tell her, show her, she doesn’t need to be afraid, i changed, i am a different person, it like i say in the post change, i learn what is important for me, i had a life change moment, it was a phone conversation with my love about a month ago, she told me something’s about her recently life, this news was a shock and revelation to me, you start thinking, for the next days you keep thinking about your life, about choices, about the way you decide to lead your life..

i took a long honest look at myself, maybe for the first time in my life, it so much more easy to say, it was not my fault, i did everything right...it was her fault...his fault, no, in this case i have to tell the truth, i have a big responsibility, it was not maybe on a conscientious way , but it still i create a situation that i cause the real problems!

I am afraid i don’t get a second chance, i am afraid she will not see how much i care for her, and how much she would be happy with me!!!! i am truly afraid for this!!

My love my be afraid to start a new life with me, i still don’t have a job in the city she lives, i am working in a few chances, but they are not permanent jobs, there is job with a duration of 2 to 4 years, and my love maybe is afraid what will happen after that??? Will i leave? i let her go once, and i did not follow her, i can tell her, i will never will leave again, never!!!! its not a permanent job its true, but it gives me time to get a permanent one, or get another one to extent my time in there, today work for life is a very rapid disappearing thing!!! We must believe in yourself and create a professional and financial future that will be give me a chance to be there with her for ever!!!

I am afraid i dont get a proper job, yes, its true, i am afraid, i am afraid about will happen if i get a job for 4 years and them what will happen after???  its ok to be afraid, but its not ok to stop acting because you are afraid, i am much more afraid of losing my love, i am more afraid of doing nothing, so i will take the risk and when the situation comes, if it will comes i will deal with it, but i cannot is fear control me, and lose my love because of this!!!!

She shouldn’t be afraid of taking a chance with me, with my love, i can show her, that the life she will always dream will be there for her, because she deserves it, and because i am not afraid of giving her all my love!!!

We shouldnt let fear stop us from loving, we shouldnt stop fear to get involved, can i be hurt, maybe, but it would hurt much more if you have a chance of finding true love and lost it because you were afraid? is this so much worse? we shouldnt let fear control our lifes, if we have half a chance of being happy we should take it both hands, love is a very rare thing, and you never know if you will find again, so dont be afraid, open your heart, i will not be going any where, i am here for you and your love, for ever and ever!!

So my love don’t be afraid to love me, lets lose the fear and start a magic life where the next stop should be celebrate our love with one child of our own, this is my biggest wish!!!!