phones

Sometimes you do things you regret, i did that very recently, my love is a different place, she is not home, i call, she was in restaurant, and i couldnt speak with her, she ask me to try later, i try, there was no connection, i couldnt speak, and i starting try and trying, its a strange process, its a mix of fear and desperation!!! which makes you even call more!!!!

why i did this???? there could be many reasons, the main one is fear!!!!! yes, fear!!! i my mind there is not a guy who would try his luck, if she is alone, i think there is loads of guys try to get her!!! i trust her, i would trust my life with her!! that is the reasonble mind, but the heart is mad!!! and i must confess, i am scared, i am scared that i am losing my sense of what is normal or not, i need to give a look at myself....

So what i do i send a sms, to complain!!!! to show her i was annoyed!!! this is not fair!! this is not right!!! i should wait, there could be milions of reasons, the batery went dead, the connections is dead, no money to call, even more simple, she didnt listen!!! you should be ready that things sometimes cannot be done in a instant!!! like learning to listen, i need to learn to wait!! i am not very good in this, but i promise myself, i will be good, i will wait, i will learn to understand why the things happen and give her time!!!

there is nothing worse them a person that start to put pressure on you, you starting making demands, you should do things because you want, because they feel right and bring you happiness, not because, you should do them, this is love, there should never be demands, there never should be an account!!!! i will never do that again!!! i am man in love, i love her more them everything in this world!! and because of this i would learn to respect my love!!! to wait, to be a source of happiness, of confort, of joy, not a source of stress and pressure!!!

i love get sms, mails from her, talking to her, this is the best part of any day, of any week, i smile everytime i talk to her, my eyes start to shine!!!! but i should be her man, some one who respect her, and dont start send sms everytime things are no happening like his wish!! no life is not like that, what type of boyfriend, husband i would be??? not the best, this is not the the man i want to be in her life!!! i learn, i will never again be a source of stress!!!!

i will stop a few days, i am out, not that one reads this, but i dont mind, this is like my helper told me, write what goes in your heart, and write for you, not for other!!

and i maybe need to look at me, i am now part of helping her, or i am starting to be bad for her??? this is a hard question i have to answer....